The Computer's Personality and History

 

Well, anyone who's got this far probably played Paranoia obsessively anyway, so what's the point? You all know that (feel free to sing along, folks) the Computer is happy. The Computer is crazy. The Computer wants to make you happy. This will make you crazy.

Anyway, for those who have never experienced the glory that is Paranoia, the Computer is an insane entity that is working obsessively from bad assumptions and corrupted data to produce an extremely warped society. It sees traitors everywhere, but can't quite manage omnipotence or omniscience. Heck, it's lucky some daycycles to manage to appear omnipotent or omniscient. This fuels its paranoia no end.

The other thing about the Computer is that it wants everyone to be happy. Most Citizens manage this, thanks to a certain (read, "massive") amount of biochemical therapy: the rest just smile like loons. Unhappiness is a sign of discontent; discontent is a sign of opposition to the will of the Computer.

Guess what opposing the will of the Computer is?

Fast learners, you all are.

 

Through the In Nomine Lens

Once upon a time, there was a Balseraph of the minor Princess of Madness. Said minor Superior was a victim of the early days of the War, alas; her few Servitors stable enough to carry on sought service with other Princes. This particular demon ended up serving Beleth, and he seemed untouched by his earlier Word. After a while, he was sponsored for the Word of Paranoia, and filled it well.

No one knew that he was really quite mad until this century, when the rise of tensions among humans also resulted in increased power to Paranoia. After a certain point, the Balseraph (who would never, ever tell anyone his name) was of sufficient strength to become a Prince. This had … unfortunate results.

The new Prince of Paranoia went to the edge of the boundary between Hell and the Marches. There, his madness fueled the creation of a new Principality, simultaneously existing in both the celestial and ethereal planes. He called this new realm Alpha Complex, and infused it with his very being, becoming the Computer. Those demons and damned souls that came too close were drawn into his madness and accepted the roles he crafted for them, becoming the loyal (and not-so-loyal) Citizens of Alpha Complex. The demons that he has created have no memories of anything different.

Why don't the Princes do anything about this?

The Real Reason

I don't want them to.

The Fairly Believable Rationalization

They would, but Ethereal Tethers that are the size of a Principality don't exactly grow on trees. The Computer has somehow manipulated reality to conform to his rules… and his rules can do trivial things like dictate the appearance, memories and behavior of its inhabitants. This is serious power, and none of the Princes want to destroy the Computer until they can understand and duplicate the effect.

Besides, Alpha Complex is kind of neat.

 

Paranoia and its characters, situations, stories, and world are (c) Copyright 1983-2001 by Greg Costikyan and Eric Goldberg. Used with permission.

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