Hey biscuits! I'm SpunkyMunky, and you've just stumbled into SpunkyMunkyLand. Pretty damn good site for a munky don't ya think? It's hard to type with only three fingers. You might think I'm a weird munky, but I'm not. I just had a bad childhood. But hey--who didn't? I grew up in the jungles of Brazil with my family. There was a Twinkie factory nearby and we had access to all the Twinkies we wanted. Therefore I was quite a portly little munky. One day my mom had just come home with a fresh box of Twinkies. I remember she took a bite and choked to death. That event scarred me for life. I could never eat a Twinkie again. Shortly after that incident, I left home. I ciricled the globe searching for the shattered pieces of my inner child. Finally, I settled down in Cleveland and opened a three-fingered glove shop. Unfortunately, it didn't do too well, and I went bankrupt. So there I was, an obese, homeless, munky all alone on the streets begging for spare change. One day I was in a Quik-E-Mart, eating my daily allowance of SlimJims and MoonPies, and then I met Morris. He was standing in line with a box of Twinkies. All of those bad memories from my childhood came rushing back. I ran up to him, grabbed the Twinkie box, threw it on the floor and jumped on it until all the filling oozed out. Morris screamed, "Dammit, you three-fingered freak! That was the last box!" I apologized and proceded to tell him about the Twinkie incident of my youth. Morris felt sorry for me and took me in. He treated me like a son. Apparently, Morris had an addiction to Twinkies, but he helped me overcome my fear of Twinkies so we could live together in peace. I should add that Morris was a criminal lawyer. No one in Cleveland (or anywhere else for that matter) liked lawyers, especially the criminals he convicted. One day a Mafia hitman, Joey Rigatoni, just released out of prison, showed up at our house. He kidnapped Morris, and locked me in the basement. So, there I was...alone in the basement with only a case of Twinkies, a beanbag, a set of golf clubs, a box of computer parts, and a book entitled So You Want to Build a Computer! There was a single window which I was too short to reach. In a fit of rage, I broke it open with a golf club and chipped all the Twinkies out the window. After I regained my composure, I passed the time by building a computer out of the computer parts. I eventually taught myself HTML and got this webpage from the nice people at Icestorm. So, next time you're in the Cleveland area, and you see the gray house with the mound of rotten Twinkies in the front yard, please let me OUT! But, enough about me...what can I do for you?
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