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December 3rd, 2006 NEW ADDRESS AT MSN SPACES!
Hello Everyone, APE-UNIT HAS MOVED TO MSN SPACES: Bookmark that new address, as all future updates will be posted solely on that page! New features include pictures, links and easy to use interface. This site will stay up as an archive. Boh-Boh! See you there! Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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November 29, 2006 Notorious U.P.D.A.T.E – Life After Death
I just got an ear-full from Fatima: I guess I haven’t been writing as much as I should have. Well, what’s new? For a start, my vacation has been slotted for MARCH 5th, 2007 to MARCH 20th, 2007. So I think I’ll take a 10 day vacation to visit family, friends and acquaintances in the harsh tundra landscapes of CANADA. This vacation is now set in stone pending any financial disasters, but the cold winters of Wuxi will cause me to stay at home more often. Perhaps I shall use that time to craft more videos with my camera, interviewing students at school and making them suffer horrendous Q&A sessions! For you enjoyment of course… Second, I lost my mobile phone yesterday. I lost it somewhere between the taxi and the post office. I believe I was a victim of pick-pocketing, but if that was the case, maybe they would’ve taken my wallet. Between my phone and wallet, by all means, take the phone. I went out and bought another one today: the same model, but one revision later, a Motorola C119. Its all black, small enough and a mere 300 RMB exactly. That’s 50 RMB cheaper for an improved model. I keep amazing people with my skills at locating cheap-as-dirt mobile phones. It’s even cheaper than a Chinese brand phone. But hey, it works. I mentioned the Post-Office in the previous paragraph. That’s because I sent everyone back home Christmas presents. To send a package to Canada cost me 300 RMB, that’s 50 $CAN. Not cheap, especially in Chinese wages. But, I figure that’s the yearly or bi-yearly package I can send everyone. My wishes are that you open it on Christmas day, when the whole family is there, because it’s got something for everyone. I hope it arrives unbroken…There are also some DVDs in there, so I hope you can split those between whoever wants what. Some of those movies are relatively new, but by Christmas they’ll probably be old to you. More importantly, in that package is a VCD I made with all the videos and pictures that I’ve taken so far. You can take that disc and just pop it into a DVD player. It should play like a movie. Sit down, watch and critique. As a last note, the only new experience of late has been going to somebody’s home here in Wuxi. I wouldn’t even call it a home. I’ve never seen anyone live in such a hole-in-the-wall. I wish I had my camera, because my words wouldn’t do it justice, but imagine snaking alleyways that must have been close to those of medieval France’s gutters, and walking up uneven creaking stairs to a door that barely seals properly, opening it up to a room that’s the size of an average bathroom in Canada. Which, by the way, was missing from that ‘apartment’. The bathrooms were out in the street. I never felt such pity for someone. The girl living there had only enough space for a single bed, a wardrobe, a sink and a TV. One of the walls wasn’t even finished, it was the crap that’s between walls. Unbelievable, living in such squalor. It was ice cold too. All of this, and just minutes away from the downtown skyscrapers. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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November 18, 2006 Foreign women label Beijing a dating wasteland Foreign women label Beijing a dating wasteland Excerpts from an article in the China Daily about foreign single women in Beijing (although this applies to Shanghai as well, and multiplied in effect for any smaller city like Wuxi): “The Beijing dating scene is sad” said a 27-year-old Australian woman. “I know a lot of expat women that are single, but don’t know any foreign single men.” Says another woman: “There are a lot of Chinese women; they’re available and have a lot to offer.” “I have lived in Asia for over 4 year now, and know how blonde women are treated by a lot of the men here(Luis: the stigma of being a blond woman means being mistaken for a Russian prostitutes, no kidding). Although that hasn’t turned me into a man-hater, I find the situation frustrating.”“It really doesn’t bother me that they overlook expat women,” says some American 33-year-old, “But what bothers me is the looks of disdain I get when I’m out and about.” “Men look away when eye-contact is made. I’m not drop-dead gorgeous, but I’m not ugly either. Living in China for years has given me great insight into what I want and who I am. Part of that self-discovery has been that I haven’t had a steady boyfriend and had to struggle comparing myself to these beautiful, petite Chinese girls. I’m 176 centimeters tall and often feel like a bull in a china shop. I have come to terms with the way I look and the way I’m built. I’m more confident because of this experience.” For China’s laowai (foreigner) ladies, it seems the problem is a matter of not only quantity, but quality. Many of the foreign women complain that the fabric of men who are attracted to China is too often different from good dating material. “Beijing seems to attract three types: young English teachers straight out of college looking for fun, businessmen who are married, busy or boring and weirdoes. Back home you meet a hundred guys who are normal, nice and socially well-adjusted, and maybe you get feelings for one or two. Here you meet five normal guys and there’s a small chance you’ll feel something special for one of them. I think the main problem is, I wouldn’t touch these guys back home, so why would I now.” Many of the foreign women believe that while a “few” foreign men in China are worthwhile, many come here to get a badly needed ego boost. “The majority of men come here because they have issues back home or they just can’t get a woman back home for a number of reasons. They come here and they become big fish in a little pond.” But what about Chinese men? “Women need to communicate more than men, so not speaking Chinese gives us fewer options.” They also said Chinese men are too shy or intimidated by foreign women. “A lot of Chinese guys don’t know how to approach foreign women.” I wrote a bunch of comments to accompany this article, then I realized why bother. Let the story speak for itself. All I can do is shake my head and say: “How’d you like them apples, darling?” Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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November 15, 2006 23
Today's my birthday so I'm 23 years old now. That's an odd number. Bad luck coming up! On a more interesting note, my co-worker Andis Kaulins, a Canadian, is getting married. Here are the pictures. Remember, the Chinese are not religious, so they don't actually have a religious ceremony. What they do is get these pictures taken, a sort of take on what they believe western weddings are like. They're crazy and ludicrous, but its a laugh and half. Wait until you see the Liberace suit and the Bollywood Prince outfit they stuck him in. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgSdotT8Mp0 Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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November 6, 2006 The Big Shake-Up
I’ve moved into my new apartment, which now means I’m roomies with a Brit called Tom Butler. It’s a nice enough place, up on the 15th floor of a Towering Inferno. It’s located right next to the school, literally. Just letting you all know it went smoothly. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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November 1, 2006 Hello Nasty
HELLO TONY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY The beasts were out last night, scaring children, molesting grown men and fending off the hordes of the undead. Halloween is the kind of holiday Baby Jesus would have loved and Adult Jesus would have wagged a finger at. She made a baby cry wearing that costume, honest truth. That’s my firm’s banker. He’s a Brit though, hence the pink, er, salmon coloured tie. Andis Kaulins as Mao and Tom Butler as a soldier. There's some growth there, maybe malignant. We’ll have to operate ASAP. A professional hitman can’t be swayed by weeping emotions. “Thems broads aints gots enoughs guns fors my’s likin’s.” The effects of drinking Wuxi tap water. A belly dancer who served us whiskey. Bless ‘er soul. New waitresses hamming it up for the camera. That’s actually an adult dressed as a little kid. The Boss Man. He’s been hiding from the Tax Return agency in a mole-hole. Chairman Mao on the dance floor. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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October 18, 2006 M.U.M. : Mothers United Madly (at sons who forget to wish them happy birthday)
I’ve been knocked off the internet before, and it’ll happen again. Unfortunately, it’s something out of my control. The problems might also stem from the fact that the offices here are undergoing major renovations, and will most likely disturb the peace that once reigned. I apologize to all my family members and friends, but I didn’t even know where the internet bars were. Halloween is coming up! And boy, I have a great costume for it, the first time since my Kindergarten robot suit! I’ll be dressed as a 1940’s gangster. You should see it; suit, hat, toy pistol, cream shirt and red-tie. The only thing missing is a pair of leather shoes with white-ends. I’m on the organization committee for the party and find myself having to reign in an over-committed co-worker who is intent on over-organizing a party in which most people will only be interested in chatting and mingling. ‘tis my lot in life. There’s a possibility of a Canadian stop in my February World Wide Tour for the release of my new album, The Many Moods of Luis. I’m hoping Montreal will be in full swing when I get there, as I expect the winter to be mild and dry as a side-effect of global warming. Plans are: eating Portuguese roast chicken, hitting up the Coliseum like theatres of the city for a feature film and visiting the scenic slums of St-Catherine Street. But what with all this shooting and murdering going on in Canada these days, I feel safer in sleepy-slash-busy Wuxi. I look forward to being reminded of why I left Montreal in the first place. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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October 10, 2006 They call me the young fly Sinatra
I’m gone for a week, away from the television and the internet, and North Korea goes nuclear. Jesus. Well, safest place to be is China right? Who the hell would even think of provoking the Nation of the Million Man Army? Only a nutter would, which… oh, right. Kim Jong-Il. In other news, I just spent a great exciting week in Wuxi doing absolutely nothing. No trips to Suzhou or Shanghai as was discussed prior to the holidays. Everyone just seemed burned out I guess. I still managed to have a good rest and caught up on quite a few movies and TV shows; Deadwood season 3, Arrested Development seasons 1 and 2, Spaced seasons 1 and 2 and quite a few movies in between. At night, we roamed the bar street looking for trouble, much like The Warriors, smashing up roller-skating punks, dodging speeding trains and running through parks. Now that the week starts up again, my obligations force me to resume less intense activities such as lawn darts, polo and the odd bear-wrestling competition. I’ve finished assembling a little package for the family back home, filled with little trinkets and goodies that I’d been collecting for some time. Included are bracelets, good luck charms, clay figures, moon cakes, dragon tofu and other mysterious items of varying exotic charm. Most of all, there are some DVDs filled with footage and stills of Wuxi and Shanghai for you to observe. Pop it in the DVD player or computer, should work in either one. I’ll leave it up to Tony and Fatima to spread the bounty to the rest of the family. I hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving. I’ll make myself some rice and curry to celebrate. Alright. Last item on the agenda, I’m looking to visit in February, circa after Chinese New Year. I’ll let you know more as the stars align. wap wap Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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September 30, 2006 Chinese Holiday 2 : Electric Boogaloo
Just a word to all the thugs and bamboozlers back home, it is National Week here in China. I will have the week off, plus an additional few days due to the over-time I’ve been doing. So I will be incommunicado for the next week. I wish you all a good week spiritually, even though my week will totally kick your week’s ass physically. Note, October 6 will be Autumn day in China, so have a piece of Moon Cake to celebrate. Lacking Moon Cake, you can replicate the horrible taste by getting yourself a gateau d’amande and inserting some kind of dry preserved curry-flavoured meat into it. I’ve bought a few little sealed and preserved Moon Cakes to send back home. Eat with caution, Hahaha! Special DJ C-C-C-CLUE shout-out: Love to all my shorteez back at Thug Mansion. One Love Ya’ll. Peace. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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September 24, 2006 To all the Realest Ballas and all my Baby Mamas
Another week, another dollar. How is everyone back home? Here on the home front I'm keeping things real, so realer than most, that it has been described as the realest. How's that for your comparitive superlatives? Braaaap braaap. I don't have particularly exciting tales to regale you with, at least those fit for a public forum, so you'll have to make due with the mundane. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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September 19, 2006 Shake, Shake, Shake That Money Maker!
Tour guide and Hy-Lite student, Tim. The clock tower in the Bund, a nice building. Note all the Chinese flags around the bund. Wink wink. I LOVE NYC BUT I LOVE CHINARS LOL!!1111. I like this picture. It's perfectly symmetrical in everyway. It's my pulitzer prize winner. Beautiful HuangPu river. I took swim right there! BONUS PICTURE 3: Fuck. A 500 RMB (CAN$83) chihuahua. No really, it just makes me sad. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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September 13, 2006 "Two Beef Patties, Bacon, Cheese, Lettuce, Special Sauce on a Sesame Seed Bun"
I’ve managed to pull myself away from YouTube Jackass videos long enough to drop you all a note. I’ve received the last package from home, which included precious items like Petit Ecoliers biscuits and reading material. A little taste from home never hurts. Here is the bi-millennial update for the fam: I’m heading to Shanghai tomorrow thanks to a good bloke called Tim, a student of mine here at Hy-Lite. It’ll be my only trip outside of Wuxi since my arrival to China. I can’t wait to see this megalopolis of a city. If Wuxi is the size of Toronto, than imagine Shanghai being more than half of the entire Canadian population. I think only Tokyo supersedes it, which is more than Canada by almost 10 million people. Shit, how do they reproduce so goddamn much when we can’t even have one child per household anymore? It’s like the choice is between having a car or a child. Bullshit… I’d never consider having a family here though; the educational system is scarily inadequate. A nation of “university” graduates who are unaware of the location of the African continent. Never mind that, I know the reasons why, but it’s the challenge that awaits them. They’ll need all the help they can get. Moving on. Autumn has hit Wuxi overnight. Temperatures have dropped dramatically. I’m already sporting a hoodie most of the time, which draws the attention of some passers by. They can’t believe you might actually be a little cold. But shit, it is cold! I’m a sensitive lad. Friday will be my first private Chinese lesson. Let’s hope I can pick up the language fairly quickly. I’m looking to open some doors and hopefully get to eat in Chinese restaurants for once. Grunting and pointing at things can be pretty limiting. Also, I promise to put some more pictures on here. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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September 12, 2006 Wu-Tang ain't nothin' ta fuck wit'
Oh baby. This is one sexy DVD. Someone back home feeling generous can send it to me anytime. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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August 25, 2006 Thuganomics 101
I'm currently assembling a great big volume of pictures and videos of Wuxi's wildlife. My plan is to assemble a photo album containing a complete and accurate picture of this town. The good, the bad, the ugly and the P.Y.T's. It'll take some time, but bear with me; this is going to be a work of sensitive artistry and time-consuming editing. In the end, you'll get something that looks like a rubbish C-grade hip-hop video that fell off a truck and mutated into a tourism video brochure. Also, I'm assembling a care package with some simple items to send back home to the shortiez, so I'll be looking to send a comprehensive assortment of crap that stems from factories outside of Wuxi, but claims to be items 'unique' to Wuxi. Be warned. All right, champagne for all ya'll, I'm Audi 5000. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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August 19, 2006 Shihuei Photos
one of many Shihuei mountains/hills Finally bought a camera, and I'll be taking plenty of pics and movies of just about everything. It's a Nikon Coolpix S5. Its a beauty... Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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August 16, 2006 “Ni hao.”
Hello, long time no speak. I’ve not been particularly busy here, but at the same time I’ve got a hell of a lot more things to do here than back home. This being the summer season, I’ve agreed to do some overtime work, all of which will go towards a new video camera. I’m very eager to get my mitts on the shiny bastard; wait ‘til you see the sights of this grimy, humid city in the summer months. People driving over each other, abandoned dogs running in packs and authentic footage of public defecation. It’s all here, and in the words of the Jack Horner; “videotape tells the truth.” I’ve been successfully scaling down my expenses here in China, living a more modest lifestyle. I get a nice salary by Chinese standards, but in no way does it allow me to be rampant. I’ve had to curb my spending habits at the pub, and thankfully I feel better for it. I do find myself eating slightly healthier foods here in China, but my big ole belly still sticks around like an unwanted friend. Some much for “sweating” it off. In matters of personal growth, this independence and time away from the banality of MTL is exactly what I needed. Technically speaking, life here is much more boring than life in any cultured western city; there are no museums, few parks, very little in terms of culture or social activities. The nightlife is especially dull (everything closes at 9 sharp, save for a few places where foreigners are likely to go or say a nightclub). But it’s the difference of it all that makes up for it. Now, if I were teaching in Shanghai, it would be a new whole ball game. The future is open ended, so we’ll see where I head after my stay in Wuxi, but perhaps I’ll stick around in China for longer than expected. Mahalo. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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August 5, 2006 “Swengen!”
I just recovered from two intense days of Fever-ridden delusions, stomach churning coughing and creeping paranoia. I’m almost fully recovered though, thanks to my refusal of any kind of medication. Chicken soup is Mother Nature’s cure and so I brew myself a bowl and 1-2’ed the Fever to the curb. Much Deadwood was watched and I find myself now trying to resist introducing all those wonderful curse words into my vocabulary. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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July 31, 2006 Converting Mahjongg Parlors into War Rooms
I had some last minute problems fixed with my Air Canada return flight: the date was set for August 1st, but managed to move my return to a later date. Who knows, if I don't get any vacation time before that, then I may come visit for the May holidays. We'll see about that. Either way, it keeps looking more likely that I'll be chilling here for at least one more year. It's a seductive lifestyle... fun, easy and things keep changing. This city is growing very fast. And I figure if World War 3 is going to break out this year, then I might as well be in the country of the Million Man Army, right? Not exactly the safest place to be, right next to the biggest target in China. Shit! We would never make it out of here and to the Canadian embassy in Shanghai anyway. Roadies on tiny electric motorbikes would flank and pelt us with makeshift rice-wine Molotov cocktails. Pork bun stands would be converted into mobile artillery units, pounding mortar shells into the embassies. They'd recruit Monks out of Shaolin and have them teach the ancient ways of the Iron Buddha Fist to local trashmen and roadside sweepers. Only refuge would be sought out in the smoking maw of abandoned shopping malls where we'd hole up in trenches tied together with knock-off designer clothing. Rations of dried eel and soy duck eggs would be handed out to the night patrol men while the women and children fashion bayonets out of chopsticks. Beware the Roving Eye in the Sky; Keep your socks clean and don’t drink the tap water. Mahalo.Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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July 25, 2006 “Puff Diddles”
I've been keeping busy this past week and so that meant going underground for some time now. I did some sightseeing the other day; I found someone fantastic who was willing to show me around not only Wuxi, but eventually Shanghai and Suzhou (sp?!). She’s a studying to become a Chinese teacher, and works for Wuxi radio in the summer. We’ve tried improving my pronunciation, but its really a hopeless matter: I am simply too fond of my mush-mouthed ways. We visited the lake by Wuxi, called Taihu and it was half bad... but man, I wish I had a camera for that. The water was a thick green slime... apparently because of the algae in the water. It was weird: I just had to touch it. I ventured out by the water to cup a handful of the jade-coloured soup and feel the texture. I slipped and fell ass backwards into the water, and my clothes became caked with green stuff. It was hilarious really, and interestingly enough most of it dried to dust and brushed right off. I couldn't believe fish lived in that shit. Three kinds too, that are apparently famous (although individual regions have many ‘famous’ things, the application of the word is used quite liberally); White fish, white shrimp and some silver fish. I did not eat any of them, but the peaches grown around here were delicious. You’d have to see the box too: there’s a picture of an old wise man on it, and I swear to god it looks like he has elephantitis of the head… it’s a huge protruding lump, and its sickening to look at. Good Fortune blabla. It was fascinating though, the lake was shrouded in fog, and in its center are three little islands that literally look like a turtle followed by a tiny one. On that island were temples and all sorts of shenanigans, most of them built in the 80's. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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July 19, 2006 “They said there’s a slim chance I won’t be the same ‘cause I traded brains with a Chimpanzee”
Hey, long time no write… Part of the problem with keeping up a record of daily life in China is that you forget what passes off as something noteworthy. Every day I’m reminded of the wonderful things that I like about this place and yet on other days I feel just as bitter as any veteran. The perspective changes: what’s normal? Seeing a man on a scooter carry 6 water cooler jugs and drive through a red light? Being sent off to teach a high school complex the size of McGill university’s campus? Armed mercenaries with pump-action shotguns escorting bank transfers in civilian clothing? Walking by the Sheraton hotel and being offered “Sex-O” by pimps squatting on the street curb? Seeing little kids publicly urinate in front of a Starbucks? Wondering how many millions of dollars worth of granite is being used on sidewalks and walking by the next week to see the slabs shattered and broken because of the trucks that drove on the sidewalk? It sort of becomes routine and you forget about how incredibly dangerous it is. Seeing bamboo scaffolding on skyscrapers is normal enough, and yet I was mesmerized by it on my first trip to Hong Kong. That’s why I need to get a video camera. I can’t make out that difference anymore. Let video tape tell the truth, just like old Burt Reynolds reluctantly muttered in Boogie Nights. Teaching is going well, I’d say 90% of the classes go by smoothly, and I learn something new every day. More and more I find myself getting the hang of how to get these shy students to open up and talk. When you get told by some of your students that they enjoy your classes, well, it’s an ego stroke that you just can’t help but appreciate. It makes everything worth while. Seeing a student improve every lesson is also an incredible thrill. It feels like I’ve found my little place under the sun here, and even if I get bored or challenged on some days, the sum of the past two months outweighs years of life back home. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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July 9, 2006 Fatso Forgetso
Pirates of the Caribbean is out by now, and I’m waiting for it to float up in the DVD shops around here. Should be any day now. Superman Returns was out the following day, but I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about Supes: he’s probably the least interesting super hero. His persona is bland and boring; his powers are all over the map and give off the impression of childhood fantasy (x-ray vision, artic breath, flight, laser eyes and so on). No thanks. I’ll take a classic trickster like Jack Sparrow in Pirates any day. And, of course, it’s Johnny Depp. I’ve hit up the shops quite a few times, and the price can’t be beat: a man could start a serious DVD collection here (one dollar for every movie). I’ll probably have to ship them over to Canada once I’m done here: I’ve already found gems like Malcolm X and Citizen Kane. Newer stuff is also laughably easy to find: X-Men 3, Pirates of The Caribbean. Even foreign films can be found here, anything from Spanish to French films (found “36 Quai Des Orfevres” here, the French “HEAT” if you will). To my father Tony: the actor Daniel Auteuil looks like you, but fatter. Then again, you both look like Robert DeNiro.
Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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July 8, 2006 G-G-G-G-G-G UNIT
Hey everyone: sorry for the total lack of updates as of late, but I found myself getting busier everyday. Also, old habits die hard, and so the Lazy-itis has settled back in. That’s a disease I’ll never part with. I’d do something about, but meh… Okay, PT is out, and that’s okay. You can only see them dive so much before you get tired of their schtick. If anything, I hope Scolari stays on, they seem to be prospering under his direction. If only he can instill in them enough confidence to believe in their skills and strategy and abandon that childish diving. The World Cup is over in a way, now there’s only the final left. And France better lose. After all the interactions we’ve had with them around here, I’ll admit my image of them (at least here in China) is of a bunch of (EXPLITIVES). I tried breaking bread with one of them, but the asshole made fun of my accent. Wow, talk about reinforcing stereotypes. Bunch of Poufs. In other news, I’ve been listening pretty intensely to Hip-Hop and downloading a bunch more at work. Of all the music I can get my hands on, this is the stuff that reminds me most of home, keeps me sane and gets me in a good mood. I revamped the website to renew my interest and keep things fresh. Think Public Enemy: a little less Flava Flav, a little more Chuck D. This kind of music doesn’t exist here, and the kind of anger in the music doesn’t either: the Chinese music industry seems to favour the sugary sweet Pop pap. No thanks, I like music with teeth. Hip-Hop can’t exist here, but that’s exactly what would cause it to spring up and prosper in the first place. Think about the context in which rap and hip-hop came to the forefront in the US: if enough people here were unhappy enough with the Consumer Lifestyle and did some looking into the past, you’d start seeing this kind of music grow. But people’s attitudes here are quite different: they avoid confrontation. Oh well, just a thought. I don’t know if you’ve seen it on the news, but a new train line has recently been completed here: a line straight into Tibet’s biggest city, Lhasa. It’s a bit of a big thing because it’s the highest altitude train line in the world, a bunch of workers died building it due to altitude poisoning. It should open up Tibet’s economy a little more, but of course that means something negative for Tibet in return. I can’t really tell you what that is, but if you’re even remotely aware of world history you can figure it out. All “blogs” (opinion columns) in this country are monitored and must be registered: mine is under the radar, but that’s because nobody of consequence reads or writes it. Still, I can’t spell out things like the situation above, but then again you’ve all got access to the BBC and Wikipedia and International News outlets so you’re in a better position than I am. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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July 4, 2006 Transmission
I've been cheering on Portugal since the start: I wore the colours and jersey for each of their games down here in the Australian pub. It wasn't easy either: the place was filled with English, and all the Chinese supported England. I was pretty much alone that night, but we prevailed! After all, we have a 10 to 1 record on the English when it comes to the national teams... Things got hairy after the game, when a group of drunken French starting singing La Marseillaise, just to egg on the Brits, and all out fight nearly broke out, some chairs were swung... In a way, I'm glad that England lost if only because the deflates the tension, I can't imagine how they would've reacted to losing the final. Sure, sounds like stereotypes in the purest form, but I was there, and I saw what I saw. Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed. At least the Brits have declared to support Portugal next game, because it seems no one wants to see France win it. It's been one heck of an interesting World Cup experience so far, best of all is watching a few of the Chinese sulk after a game: a lot of gambling goes on behind the scenes here. Here's a pic: Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 26, 2006 THE GREAT WORLD CUP SILENCE
Portugal: 1 – Netherlands: nada. Woop it up! Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 19, 2006 “I’m interested in this.”
From my buddy Dave: I just dug up my old copy of symphony of the night and was immediately flooded by nostalgia and by proxy of your portugese ass. I’m doing great. I’ve very much settled into the routine of things, and during the summer I’ll be spending more time at the school. Not out of choice, but out of duty. Things here will be incredibly busy, as school’s out and the students flock to English and summer schools. I’ve been told that I might be working 6 days a week sometimes, but its paid overtime, so I can’t complain. The only problem I foresee is that it’ll feel like a daycare on some days. Already you can tell some people come here not to learn English, but to hang out and enjoy the A.C. Im 2 weeks away from moving and cant freaking wait, i was promoted at work im now a quality control laboratory technician at pepsi, so if it tastes like crap im to blame. It's part of my job to do taste tests on samples (on top of all the other chemical tests) every half hour... so i'll no doubt become diabetic in a few weeks. Congrats on that job promotion, you must be making some pretty decent dough. Don’t make too big a fuss about that heat though, I’m walking around 35+ heat with heavy humidity every single day, even when it’s raining. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 17, 2006 Rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated
Hey everyone. Sorry for the big long silence, this world cup is killing me. Why do I have to suffer this horrible time difference… Anyway, here’s a letter from my brother Marcos to get me talking again: Hey Luis, How's life going there? Anything new happen? Well I'm sure lots has happened, but I like to hear about it, so I can't help asking. Nothing big has happened, but it’s the small things that happen here that make shit interesting. Stuff like seeing a fist fight between a cop and pedestrian and seeing the sky go a muddy, shit-brown colour at 4pm because of all the smog and crap in the air. The weather is becoming unbearably muggy. Here things are going as usual. Nothing new in particular. The guys at work started a pool and asked me to join in for the world cup. We didn't get too chose our teams, it's more of a lottery kind of.. We're 11 guys and basically they took 11 teams ( the top 11 in the stats for winning) and randomly got chosen to who went what team. We don’t have a pool (since betting is illegal here, and we’re just across the street from the Wuxi Police HQ so if they caught wind, we’d disappear overnight unless we had guanxi (connections)). We do have a tipping pool to win a free t-shirt though. How it works: we have to predict the winner and results for each game, and points are awarded. Even the games you know nothing about… it’s not bad though, out of thirty people, I’m second… but last night’s Netherlands VS Cote d’Ivoire threw me off. I’ve got Portugal marked for a 3 nil win against Iran. That’s completely reasonable by the way (Mexico stomped them 3-1), and if Portugal don’t make that happen, then I’ll eat my shirt. Right now, Spain, Argentina and Italy look to be the fittest teams, England really stunk, and Ronaldo’s got fat. One of the Australians said it’s because he isn’t f*&*^%#g enough. I laughed heartily, and agreed. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 11, 2006 Angola VS PT
Disappointing game that was. England didn’t perform all that well against a team that couldn’t bungle things any more than they did. Tonight’s match will be killer on my already deprived sleep, but you’ve got to soldier on. I’ve done some thinking: seeing as how I opted to get a phone sans camera, I’ve decided that the money saved on that will go towards not only a digital camera, but a digital camcorder. The only way to truly bring this place to justice is in video. Wait until you see the spitting camels, uh, I mean spitting people. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 10, 2006 World Cup
That’s it, the world cup has started. And here I am watching it in the worst possible place outside of the USA: China. There’s interest in the game here, but mostly on a superficial level. The Chinese are not interested because their team didn’t qualify. The game of football here is reasonably popular and well-known, but it doesn’t attract the kind of mania that you’d see in Europe. No, here, Ping-Pong is the sport of choice. But real fans and amateurs gather around the western pubs for good football and strong drink: there’s an undeniable charm to watching the game from the other side of the world with an international assembly of Australians, Brits and Germans. Even Americans have come out of hiding for a glimpse of the game that seems to enthrall so many. We’re people of the world, and damn those that ignore this exciting chance to gather in crowded bars and yell at screen: only real aficionados need apply. I can’t call myself an expert, but I honestly do love watching the games. I may not know the player’s names or the intricate history of the sport, but nothing stops me from admiring this beautiful game, played with elegant strategy and superb skill. Yesterday was the opening ceremony (which was rubbish) and the first match: Germany – Costa Rica. There was no doubt as to the winner, but now that we’ve seen Germany in action, we know there’s no way they’ll win it. The defense in the back is like Swiss cheese; twice Costa Rica slid in unchallenged for an easy goal. Place Germany with a stronger adversary and it would be a different story. This is going to be an exciting World Cup indeed. A note on the time difference: there’s a 6 hour delay between us. When the first match started at 6, we got it at 12, midnight. Tonight’s England – Paraguay match will be at 9 o’clock, a decent time. But tomorrow’s Angola – Portugal will be killer. It’ll start at two in the morning… Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 7, 2006 boys will be boys so long as they are governed by useless bicycle regulations
Pupils aged over 12 at a primary school in Zhejiang Province have to apply for driving licenses issued by the school if they want to travel to school or bicycle. Around 360 of the school’s680 pupils have so far received the license. According to a source at the school, the pupil should first hand in an application letter written by their parents, be familiar with traffic regulations and road signs, and pass an examination organized by the school before getting the license. The school also ruled that licenses would be revoked if pupils commit any serious traffic offences. Smothering bureaucracy. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 6, 2006 phone
I’m now the proud owner of a baby Motorola. I would give you the number, but I can’t receive overseas calls. Let me tell you more about it: The phone is absolutely rubbish, but that why I bought it. The great thing about cell-phone shopping in China is the choice. There is a cell-phone shop at every corner, literally. It’s huge business. And to boot, you are free to buy any brand any model because they’re all compatible with the only two service providers: China Mobile and GM Telecom. Unlike back home, you’re not tied down to any particular plan, which in turn forces you to choose from a selection of models: you pick and choose, a la carte. And it’s cheap too: my Motorola is an older model that was on sale. I picked it up for 358 RMB (CAN 60$). The activation fee, SIM card and plan cost me 100 RMB (CAN 16$). I don’t know about its durability and reliability, but time will tell. For now though, I can be counted among the social elite and their hip trends; I can walk into a restaurant here and see a young group of friends eating at the same table, all talking on their phones to people whilst ignoring each other. This, my friends, is progress. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 5, 2006 First payday
Here are the pictures from my trip to Lu Zhi, “The Venice of China”… right. Nice enough for what it is. A crusty old seaman pondering what to sing. This one is lost in translation. Old ladies on boats. Doing all the hard work for the men. It's payday. About time if you ask me. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 3, 2006 The word for beer
Here’s a quick summary of the few Chinese words I’ve learned so far: - Ee, ar, San, Se, Woo, Lyo, chee, ba, jyo, shir - Ni Hao - Tsai zhen - Che-che - Tien / Xien / La - Piju - Dou shao chee-en - Zher jee-ow shuh muh - Biao These are all spelled phonetically, so it’s a cold, hard guarantee that you’re probably saying them all wrong. Even the phonetic spelling in my translation book is of little use. In addition, the local dialect (Wuxinese) tends to add an “ah” sound to the end of words, so Che-Che becomes something like Che-Che-ah. At least, that what I understand of it. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 2, 2006 sketch
I was asked the other day to contribute something to the local english language magazine (WuxiLife), and so I did. I dug deep into my psyche to come up with what is an essentially toothless and bland comic panel.  Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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June 1, 2006 Cough cough
It was clear from the beginning some things would prove difficult, none more so than the language barrier. At my apartment door yesterday I received a little note, slipped in by the landlord. I had to have the message translated at the school: it was my water bill. 5 RMB and 20 cents. 86 cents Canadian. But even to pay this off I'll have to bring someone from the school over to the apartment building so that I can know where and who to give it to. Of course, one wants assurance that it'll be handed over to the right people, and lord knows trust is the hardest thing to find in this place. What makes it even harder however is the fact that the staff here seems reluctant to help sometimes. Also, every day off I've had since I got here has been raining. I will shake my fist at the sky and yell something profane. And a question for the people back home: no more smoking in pubs, bars, restaurants, lounges and clubs starting today? Tough luck. That would never happen here seeing as most cigarette brands are also government owned. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 31, 2006 Authenticity
Well, you'll never believe it, but I just found a bakery that sells Portuguese goods. Including the Holiest of the Holy, the Pastei de Nata. There was actually an english translation for it, which was "Portuguese Egg Nosh". How accurate is that? I bought one for 4.25 RMB (70 cents). Of course, one already knows going in that they will be inferior to anything found in an actual Portuguese bakery, but if only nostalgia, you'll try it out. Verdict: just doesn't measure up. The filling is clearly not made from egg although the they'd fool you: they look absolutely identical to the real thing. That's china for you; it looks good until you use/eat/talk to it. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 30, 2006 Pots and Kettles
graft: 
From The Globe and Mail A group of Chinese schoolchildren line up for an assembly at a middle school in Shanghai 29 May 2006. China has recently launched a pilot project to protect children against corruption through school classes on the evils of graft and the government has repeatedly characterized the war on graft as a priority. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 29, 2006 Cost of Loving Proves High For Young Man China Daily shows us the definition of pussy-whipped: A young civil servant was recently ordered to pay a ‘debt’ valued at a total of 40,000 RMB (5,000 US$) to his former girlfriend after they separated in Nanning, capital of the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region. Li fell in love with Chen in December 2004. After Li had sex with Chen, she asked him to write an IOU (“I Owe You”) valued at 40,000 RMB. As Li felt so strongly for Chen so much at the time, he didn’t think twice about the IOU. But Chen took Li to court after they separated, with the former girlfriend demanding the cash from her former lover. Nanning Intermediate People’s Court ruled in favour of the greedy young woman. There is a certain lack of vigor in most men here, you can spot it in the way they dress for one thing. "Too much shopping, not enough kung-fu" says this reporter on the field. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 28, 2006 Sir-Mix-A-Lot
Today was the glorious field trip to Lu Zho (never mind the pronunciation), what is referred to by the locals as the “Venice of China”. Bollocks. Completely untrue. The place has canals built around the old district town, that was somehow spared by the Cultural Revolution. Well, for the most part, you can tell its been built in the past 20 years, as most places are still made out of modern materials and are not worn out to fit the 200 year-old tag they place on it. The real China of today is recreating its history, for the sake of giving its people a sense of pride, or at least unity. There was not much to see around here, except for endless streams of shops selling crap like dollar store toys and trinkets, to jewelry that was of poor make. A few in-house museums were scattered around, like schools that belonged to poets and artists and farming equipment. Thrilling. In the end, the highlight was taking a boat around the canals, and being sung to by the boatwomen. It was the good company that made it enjoyable however. Otherwise, the only other news I can think of is a few folks I’ve met. Yesterday, at a house party for a few people that were celebrating their birthdays, I met a girl from France. I found myself translating for her most of the night, but I tried getting away when it was clear she was getting drunk (off one glass of whiskey). The Brazilians were there and made quick work of her until twin blonde Russian dancers arrived, after which the French girl was abandoned. The dynamics switched in the room and she went after the attention of some Brits meanwhile the Russians earned the spite of some because they are after all, factually whores. Eye witness reports indicate that you can see Russian girls working as dancers in nightclubs around China that sell their company to Chinese men. I say factually because given most of what goes on around here this is in no way a stretch of the imagination. Finally, I’ve also met someone by the name of ‘Big Peter’ who hails from Canada, but specifically Rouyn-Noranda, Quebec. He’s an Anglophone working here as an English Teacher for another company. He’s been in China for a few years and has started a family. I don’t believe you could meet such an eclectic mix of people anywhere else in the world. This is the last frontier in some ways, it feels like I’m part of something very special here… at least until the Economic Powers that be decide to jump-start the African market. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 27, 2006 Field trip tomorrow
Like the title says, tomorrow will be a full day field trip to some place I can't even pronounce. Hence, I won't be able to update this site tomorrow. Otherwise, enjoy this bit of cryptic wisdom: What it means (taken verbatim from an English magazine, Wuxi Life): If three people walk with me, then surely one of them can be my teacher. In China, humility is a virtue. You may be good at accounting, but know nothing about interior decorating. Therefore, you should always consult somebody who is more knowledgeable than you when stumped. * About yesterday's deer with the beat-up face: apparently the thugs who run the zoo will rip out the musk producing glands from the animal so they can sell it. The same goes for the peacock feathers. Anything goes: the water is never changed so you can see beasts drink from the darkest water imaginable, people feed bears candy with the wrapping still on and cages are cleaned once a blue moon. I saw beautiful little artic foxes laying in their own filth, huddled like frightened kittens. I can't wait for people to expose this kind of stuff come the Olympics and World Fair. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 26, 2006 Pictures!
I've finally got some pictures to share with you guys. These are the from the school, on our just completed balcony where we will now hold some classes during the summer. Neato! Behind me is Chongsang Road, more or less the main boulevard. This is where you can buy the most expensive beer in Wuxi. Also, the Chinese don't drink anything cold, so you can't get a cold beer or a cold soft drink for that matter. They think it's bad for your health. If you want cold Heinekens, you go to the Western bars. This is a picture of the patio. Sorry for not updating the past two days, I got busy and hesitated about what to write. Yesterday I got to visit the zoo, which is probably the most depressing thing I'd ever seen. Highlights include a deer whose face was shreded to hamburger (fresh blood pooled around its cage)*, a dirty panda and more animals lying in their own feces then I'd ever care to see. I also had a very religious moment during the cable-car ride up the mountain. I do not want to ride one of those things ever again. Thankfully, I'd forgotten my day-glo crucifix in the jacket I was wearing. We visited temples and walk down the mountain. For an hour and a half. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 23, 2006 Clean pores
Settling into the groove of things has been easy thus far, but some things are bound to surprise you as you go along. Every now and then, you land on a student who should know better but simply doesn't. For example, today I had an absolutely brilliant woman in one of my classes, in her early thirties. She was actually world-traveled, fluent in english and very attractive. She had even lived in Brazil for a year with her boyfriend, who tried to set up a factory. But as you talk to this person, you realize that no matter how much more cosmopolitan she is than 99% of your other students, they still carry what is essentially a pair of red-tinted glasses. The Japanese are evil. Some people will swear to you that they've seen pictures of Japanese men eating babies on the internet. You do not speak about that island and that place that starts with a T and finishes with a N without very carefully choosing your words. If you talk about political things, you do so as an impartial observer and be sure to explain that they are not opinions or facts. Black people are apparently very scary and intimidating. And... their skin is black because it's dirty? They've got a long way to go and they're not getting help from TV or newspapers. Shanghai is going to be a very interesting place to be in the future China, because it's possibly the only place that's adapting. Beijing is the cultural centre of the country: how it will change the olympics is the real question, not how the olympics will change Beijing. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 22, 2006 The Walking Watermelon Man
The weather is starting to become unbearable. I thought Hong Kong was bad, but if that was the low season, then how human life sustains itself there in the summer months baffles me. It’s not a sunny day; in fact it’s cloudy and smoggy, making for a soupy mix where skyscrapers dissipate before reaching the top. People seem on edge too. It’ll be an electric day, that’s for sure, and with a bunch of classes lined up, some packed, it’s going to be interesting in the sense that I’ll want to head straight home and lose myself in a book or a movie. Vain or not, what bothers me most about this weather is that I have to bring a shirt with me to work, because in the short walk it takes me to get to work, I get soaked in sweat. I just don’t have the constitution for this kind of weather. Can my body still adapt to it in this late age? I wonder. Of course, there’s always some silver-lining, and this cloud happens to be shaped like a most women in a blossoming Wuxi summer. Think about it: happens in Montreal too. But even less clothes here, if that’s even possible. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 21, 2006 This is how you misspell MUSIC in gigantic neon lights
We are a school inside of a nightclub. Almost. There are two major nightclubs in Wuxi: 'Star Hollywood Music Club' and 'Babyface'. The building in which our school is located is connected to the Star Hollywood building by only one corridor on the 3rd floor. Incidently, this corridor is decorated with huge blue neons and glittery, sparkling blue crap, Johnnie Walker scotch ads, and women dressed in miniskirts and over-sized top hats. The bus boys are dressed in flimsy kilts, knee-high socks and bleached blond hair. I wish I could make these things up, but I can't. This is reality. At 8:30 in the evening, the bass of the blaring music starts shaking things up, and our last class of the day can become difficult. There are no zoning laws here like we're used to, so stuff like a nightclub built next to an english school is not only possible, but completely legal thanks to the fact that it's all triad (mafia) owned anyway. On a positive note, everytime we finish work and head out the building, we get greeted by the girls in top-hats, and it's always worth a laugh. They have no idea how ridiculous they look. And of course, they could have asked us to proof-read their huge signs on top of the building, but they didn't, and the result is that they managed to misspell the word music for 'muisc' in neons that can be seen two blocks away. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 19, 2006 Kung Fu Hustle
Via the China Daily: A wife chopped off a gang member's leg with a kitchen knife after her husband was cornered by a gang. Gao was on his way home late at night when he was cornered by five people who asked him to give them money and and his mobile phone in Siping of Jilin Province. They chased after him as he ran toward home and cried to his wife for help. The wife rushed out of home waving a kitchen knife and chopped off the leg of one gang member and the others ran away. The injured gangster is now in Police custody. Speaking of police, I went to the Wuxi police HQ the other day to register whatever it was that needed registering. The place smelled like piss: I would like to imagine they all do. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 17, 2006 THEM!
My right arm is being eaten alive... By mosquitoes. During the night, I usually hearing the familiar buzzing of a little mosquito around my head. I end slapping my head violently during the night, hoping that I'll eventually kill the little bastard. I wake up this morning and find my right arm to have been bitten, not twice, not three times... but FIVE. And one bite around my throat, and one one right hand and a token bite on the left arm for the sake of being a thorough little fly. This morning I caught one of the bastards sitting on the ceiling. I stood up on my bed and jumped up and punched the bastard with my fist, in true Street Fighter style. The thing exploded with blood. My blood. Then I had to wipe it off the ceiling. I bought a bunch of burning incense to hopefully kill the bastard or at least drive them away, but you never know with these flying swine or the questionable quality of Chinese products. This one had a celebrity on the box, so I felt I could trust it more than the anonymous brand. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 16, 2006 Boss swaps golden name with plastic
More anecdotes from the China Daily: After dealing with theft three times, a boss decided to replace the gold-stamped company name in front of the firm's office with plastic materials in the city of Haikou, Hainan Province. His decision to swap the materials came after the gold-stamped Chinese characters that used to be placed at the gate of the company had been stolen three times in two months. The thieves had apparently mistook the gold-stamped characters for pure gold, or least expensive metals, the boss said. If you don't bolt it down in China, make it out of crap so they don't steal it. People here will steal manhole covers if they think it's worth a buck. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 15, 2006 Q&A:1
My brother Marcos wrote in with a slate of good questions. I thought I'd just check up on you. See how things are going. It's really great that you put up the site for you day by day post. It gives us a chance to follow what you're up too :) I'm glad you're reading it. Otherwise, I'd writing this stuff for myself which would be a lot like thinking out loud, which is bad thing when you blurt out how scared you are of seeing your ass explode like a volcano. I survived that soup by the way. Click, next chamber. So foods dirt cheap? What kind of food you've been having? Like what do you eat for breakfast? I'm guessing simply Toast with maybe some tea or coffee.. but is there other stuff you've discovered? Yeah, food is ridiculously cheap. For example, that soup I had yesterday was 2 RMB. Converted to Canadian dollars, that's 33 cents. 33 cents for a heaping bowl of soup. Yesterday I bought some bananas, mangos and some frozen dumplings. Total came up to 21.50 RMB, divide that by 6, and it cost me about 3.60 Canadian. If I made minimum Canadian wages here I could live a comfortable lifestyle. But the reality is still that wages are much lower, including mine. However, my job still pays very well compared to most jobs: I believe we're in the upper 10% of earners here in Wuxi. We can't afford Peugots, BMWs or even Toyotas, so we don't compare to the people who truly belong in the upper 10%. But it gives you an idea of the imbalance of wealth. The divide between middle class and upper class is a grand canyon. So far I've tried everything from chicken feet to eel, but the best food I've tried so far has been Chinese-Muslim food. Spicy racks of lamb, fried clumps of corn in a sweet sauce, a type of pita bread with beef and mixed vegetables, sesame seed bread in a meat sauce and sliced cucumber with chili seeds. I got to try a lot more than that so far, but it gives you an idea. Wuxi is known for sweet foods, and is generally regarded as one of the worst places in China for cuisine. Most of the teachers here hate the local dishes, and though I haven't had the chance to try any yet, I can imagine it's fairly rubbish. Thankfully, there are vegetarian, Japanese, Korean restaurants along with local joints that serve up specialties from other Chinese provinces. Unfortunately, ordering food is another matter when the restaurant has no pictures, so I haven't had the opportunity to go out on my own to new restaurants. I have to rely on my fellow teachers for that, for which I'm thankful. What have you done with you're weekend? Did you head out to visit any new places? Do you go down to Mos Esley bar often? I haven't been outside of the area yet, I'm in the old district of Wuxi. It's surrounded by canals, so you know you've gone to far once you're on the overpass with the brown muddy water below you. The New District is where all the foreign companies are such as Siemens and Bosch. It's the industrial sector, where all the manufacturers and plants are. That's why the sky is always yellow in Wuxi. I was surprised to hear that the government here is actually concerned about the environment, after all China is incredibly beautiful, but their hands are tied because imposing cleaner standards means driving away potential companies. A tough balancing act, but when people start developing health problems and Acid rain starts accelerating decay of buildings it'll already be too late. I can picture asthma and lung cancer being a growing disease in the next decade for a lot of Chinese in industrial towns. I did get to see a blue sky the other day, it was a windy day, and the smog got blown out of town. That said, I can't wait for the opportunity to visit Taihu lake here in Wuxi, which I'm being told by all my students is a very beautiful place to have barbeques by the water. What Marcos is referring to as Mos Eisly bar (Star Wars) is the local Australian pub, the Blue Bar. There is a local rivalry between foreign bars: one American, Rocky's, and two Australian bars, Ronnie's and the Blue Bar. The Blue Bar is where I first went, and keep going because I started meeting all the regulars there, many of which are teachers from my own school. It serves everything from Heinekens to Coronas and food like eggs and bacon to Tex Mex burgers, burritos and Roast beef. You can even get New Zealand prime rib steak should you really miss the taste of a thick juicy steak. What keeps me coming back to Blue Bar are the people. It's good to have someone to talk to, get a real conversation going. I've met people from just about everywhere there, Germans, Aussies, Kiwis, American, British and of course Brazilians. This is also where you'd have to go see sports games or even western TV thanks to their satellite television. I got to watch the FA cup final two nights ago, between Liverpool and West Ham. Liverpool won 2-2, 3-1 in the penalty shoot-outs. Great game, but even better with the company of crowd like the Blue Bar's. Yah I know I keep asking questions all the time, annoying eh? ;) No but seriously I'm really curious about how things are going. I have a feeling that you're really enjoying yourself. It's really a great experience you're having now. Indeed I am, so far. I know I'll eventually get to the really bitter days where I'll hate everything about this country, but until then I'm stocking up on the positive things. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 14, 2006 More on Food
A man needn't cook in China. Not because the woman does, but because food is cheap and readily available. You can eat out every night should you wish, if you know the right places. If you've got the genetic make-up to withstand their sanitary oversights (read: sanitation isn't even on the radar) then you might be in for some culinary delights and surprises. Even the higher-end places are completely up in the air when it comes to cleanliness. One of the Brazilians here told me that he got food poisoning from the Pizza Hut. I'm sure even the McDonald's across the street is a gamble. Otherwise, you're one case of explosive diarrhea away from the hospital. Food stalls are dirt cheap, but the risk factor is so high its like playing russian roulette. I was strapped for a cheap meal near work on my lunch break, and one little soup stand looked like it might be serving it up so boiling hot that all the bad stuff might die out. I'm keeping my ass clenched just in case and my mind focused on any signals my stomach might be sending me. I'm drinking plenty of water in hopes that all will pass with a minimum of turbulence. With every meal in China it feels like another spin of the barrel, wondering when that sixth chamber with the loaded bullet will get its turn. Mahalo. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 13, 2006 Teaching Language, Teaching Culture
The things you learn in China. Just yesterday I was told that all foreigners spend their money on booze and look down on the Chinese. I also learned that Londoners wear hats and walk with umbrellas, that Chinese electronics are than Japanese ones and that no one knows jack-all about South America. You don't only teach english here, you're teaching open-mindedness. The problem is that the folks here are sheltered from outside media. About the only thing to slip through the cracks are movies, not only American ones, but European as well. Of course, the problem there is that they don't pick up anything less than the DVD cover with the big celebrity faces plastered on them. That means pap like Mission Impossible 3 gets picked over less sensational fare that might actually have insight into characters or some truthful observations about places around the world. It's an uphill battle because they don't get exposed to other cultures that would allow for them to make up their own minds about the world abroad. It is not easy, but there's an inevitable change that has to occur, because the world outside them is just panting to get inside. Shanghai seems to be first seed of a more accepting China, however it is ultimately up to the individual to make an effort to understand their world. I understand to an extent, the need to limit outside influences, but in the end, it is a mere delay. The Olympics, World Fair, international trade; it's already begun. How they will adapt will be one of the most fascinating things to witness at the ground level. I like it here so far, it's almost refreshing to be in a place where people stare at you for minutes at a time. In Montreal, I was just another ghost walking by. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 12, 2006 "Tourists flood Bruce Lee Theme Park"
From yesterday's China Daily: "More than 40,000 tourists and local residents visited the Bruce Lee Theme Park in Shunde District in the city of Foshan in Guandong Province during the past week. In addition to special kung fu performances, the country's only Bruce Lee Theme Park includes water entertainment facilities, resort centers, restaurants, exhibition and convention centres." "The Park opened on May 1st. Spurred by the large number of visitors in the first weekm the theme park has decided to construct a Bruce Lee Memorial Hall in the next three years. Covering an area of 192 hectares, construction of the memorial hall will cost more than 100 million yuan (12.5 million US dollars). Shunde is the hometown of the Chinese Kung Fu legend." Bruce was born in San Francisco, and lived in Hong Kong and Seattle, for most of his life. Of course, this being the only English language newspaper in China, they have to keep certain facts omitted, because National Pride is everything. I like the fact that Bruce still carries a heavy cultural significance, but I don't think theme parks are the way to pay tribute. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 11, 2006 The Full Monty
Today, I went out for a full body inspection. It's a requirement in order to work not only with the school, but within the country. Any international traveller with any kind of ailment or sexual disease gets sent right back. My inspection wasn't made at the hospital, but rather a clinic for international travellers, whether they be from Europe or South-East Asia. Included in the drills were a blood test, ultrasound (!), x-ray, dental check and other assorted tasks. This also meant the first person in China to see my dick was an old doctor who drank from a jam jar. At least I know my blood type now, which is O. There is a certain discomfort that comes with visiting a Chinese clinic or hospital; the over-whelming sense that this not a place where you would want to end up sick. This particular place was two buildings separated by a plaza where cars park. As I sat in the lobby waiting, a man from the opposite building came into ours with vials of something or other. He was wearing a sanitary mask, and yet the vials were being carried through the open air, from one building to another, flies buzzing in the lobby, as if it were nothing. It's equal parts hilarious, and equal parts scarring. I now have to go buy toilet paper. Excuse me. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 10, 2006 Letter to my Brother
Hi Marcos, I moved into my apartment yesterday. It's a clean room furnished with modern amenities, if only a little small. But that suits me just fine, I'm average height here anyway. It's very modern, with all the necessary amenities like a little hot-plate and a microwave-like oven. There's a shower and toilet - both of which are up to western standards. No squatting over a dark hole over here. It's pretty much standard, except some places (like the school). I paid a deposit of 2500 RMB (CN$ 416) for the first month, and the school paid another 5000 RMB (CN$833) for the two next months. That amount will get docked out of my pay over the next 3 months. So if I'm basically making 7500 RMB a month, that leaves me more than enough to get by on. There are no real expenses here: food is incredibly cheap and so are the movies! We're talking about a dollar for any movie... and you can find everything, including European movies. I spotted Spanish dramas and French comedies, but even American TV shows are sold here. Three seasons of Futurama for example, will cost you 78 RMB - More or less 13 bucks CN. Back home, a single season goes for 59.99$ plus tax. Most electronics are at a good price, and again, no tax. No more fumbling with change either and no tipping... there's something devilishly pleasing about not having to tip the bartender for your drinks or the waiter at the restaurant. If a person made a good Canadian salary here, say what I was making at Bell, he would live like royalty. Almost litterally. Of course, there's plenty of negative things too, but we'll leave that for a future chat. I keep meeting nice expats here, and I've got more classes to teach today. So far, it's been alright, passable, but I think once I start getting a little more used to things I'll start being a little tougher with my students. They don't talk... they just clam up and don't want to talk about anything. You have to pull the words out of their mouth. You get asked weird questions. In my case, the one I've heard most often is: "Are you mixed-blood?", as in Eurasian. Their idea of white people is enforced by TV and Movies, and even local foreigners. So that means Brits, Germans, Aussies, Kiwis and Americans. I don't look Portuguese or Brazilian enough... I don't have a 'big nose' or blond, brown hair. Nor do I speak with the same accent which really throws the students off. We can't all be winners. It's good to know no matter where I go in the world, I'll never fit in perfectly. Until next time, Luis. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 9, 2006 On The Cusp of That Country-Good Feelin'
It's raining again, but it's all sunshine in my heart. I've got a lion in my chest. It feels like I've got a lot to look forward to, a lot of new things to do and experience for that very first time. Being relocated to this alien world, you realize just how much you take for granted back home. I could be moving into an apartment today, but there's one more to visit. Looks like the setup is being done pretty quickly. More on this later. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 8, 2006 First impressions
There's been a lot of firsts for me here in the past two days. First time to a Chinese wedding, first time eating Chicken feet, boiled turtles and eel, first time scouting for apartments and a little later today first time teaching. There's going to be a lot to talk about later if I can stay the course and perform my duties competently. The main thing I need now is courage and self-confidence. The issue at hand is simply how well I will perform. The problem is that I'm aware of my tendency to get mush-mouthed when I'm nervous. On some occasions I've exhibited a survival instinct in the form of cleverness through BS. Most of that time it was with people I was interviewing for. This time, I'm not so sure of myself. I wonder why. Can it be that I feel overwhelmed by everything? Am I not a competent writer? Do I not have a firm grasp of English at my command? Insecurities, but valid nonetheless. It's what eats at you, and until you can prove yourself wrong, you've got to stay the course. No cut-and-run as S.Colbert would say, and certainly not in the face of the people who hired me. They gambled on me, and it is time to show them that gut instinct didn't wrong them. The answer to the Riddle of Steel is not the sword, but the person holding it. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
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May 7, 2006 Arrived in Wuxi, China
I arrived safely in Shanghai yesterday, had a lift up to Wuxi, which was more or less a two hour drive away. I was exhausted; couldn't get a wink of sleep on the plane. People kept elbowing me in the head as they passed down the aisle. The flights were on time however, and nothing special happened except my bag hitting sombody square in the face as I took it out of the overhead compartement. I arrived here in Wuxi and was brought to the Gang Li Hotel which is where I'm staying at right now, and from where I'm writing this email. About Wuxi, it is a fairly busy city with skyscrapers growing like weeds and crazy drivers everywhere (traffic signs are a recommendation that goes ignored it seems) and lots of buzzing around at all times of the day. Also, the beggars in China are extremely annoying. They literally follow you around for minutes on end pleading and being a dick. I pretty much got to meet up with the guy who hired me right after arriving, Dan Inkster, a Canadian from Calgary, and he bought me a beer and a meal at the bar he owns, a place where all the foreigners gather here. In fact, and you'll be glad to hear this Fatima, I met two Brazilians here, who are working as engineers on contract. They've been here a while, and they were fun to talk to, and very happy to see another Portuguese speaker. Who would've guessed. Anyway, I pretty much met most of the people I'll be working with, they all tend to hang out together at the same places, and its comforting. They're all Australian, New Zealanders, Canadians and British. No Americans so far, I'm surprised. So, I basically start work on monday. Believe it or not, today I'm attending a baseball game and a wedding. Don't worry, it's not my own just yet. Sounds like I'll be quite busy around here. In terms of finding a place to stay, my boss said I could find one as soon as tomorrow, depending if I'll like it or not, but he's personally in charge of helping me set up. I don't feel particularly nervous, just as much as one would expect from being in a completely different place. The language barrier is what's most frustrating, but that's the breaks, and I'm completely allowed to be lost and ask annoying questions, so thank god for that. Hong Kong this is not; Wuxi is more unruly seedy, so I'll be sure to be careful. I've already been warned of a few things, but it looks like I'm bound to run into a few situations myself. In the end though, if you want to live a little, this is the kind of place you want to be. All right, I don't know what else to say right now, suffice that that's that. Sorry I can't call in person just yet to everyone, I will as soon as I can. Luis Reis, email: ponquenet@yahoo.ca |
