Libby's Corrie Limericks
by Libby Seekings
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There is an old teacher called Ken,
He's had more affairs than most men,
But his lovers all leave;
Why? It's hard to conceive,
But he's just bored their pants off again! |
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A candy shop owner named Rita,
Fell foul of a faulty room heater.
It was CO she copped,
Her clogs nearly popped,
But Greg saved the day for this Streeter. |
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A young couple, Gary and Jude,
Considered Mrs Bishop a prude,
When she made a request
They remove "Nookie Nest",
A sign she found terribly rude |
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Aunty Em was game for a fight,
To hug trees, she said, was her right.
She climbed out on a limb,
Which looked awfully slim,
And gave all her neighbours a fright. |
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Photo stolen from
Mike Plowman and copyright Granada Television.
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An innocent lady called Mave,
Brought home a plant that Des gave.
But Spider espied it
And offered to hide it,
By Golly! That was a close shave! |
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A cad and a bounder named Bradley,
Treated our Rita so badly.
But while out on the lam,
He was hit by a tram,
An episode viewers watched gladly. |
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There is an old fellow named Stan,
A working-class sort of a man.
But he feels above par,
When he props up the bar,
Which he does, whenever he can. |
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There is an old butcher called Fred,
Who tries to get ladies to bed.
With sweet talk he woos,
And plies them with booze,
But they prefer sausage instead. |
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A canny old soldier named Percy,
Went out on an errand of mercy,
'Cos Phyllis had flu
And Perce caught it too,
But they weren't playing Doctor and Nursie. |
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There was a young laddie called Nick,
Who was nice, but considered quite thick.
He left for Toronna,
We thought him a gonna,
But he came back quite changed - what a trick!
(The original last line of this has been changed in the
interests of keeping the party clean.) |
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