Chat Log
By Maurice Lane
Special guest appearance
(and dialogue suggestions) by Jaymiel
Everybody dies has entered the room.
Death to sparky: So we had to throw out the
new batteries.
Heretic freak: That sucks. :(
Death to sparky: No kidding. Stupid rules. So what if they kept exploding?
Heretic freak: That's bad?
Death to sparky: lol
Mistress of pain 2343: Hello, everybody dies
Death to sparky: hello
Heretic freak: yo
Loved Falling: hello
Mistress of pain 2343: Been busy?
Everybody dies: same old same old. What's new?
Mistress of pain 2343: SSDD
Everybody dies: lol
Loved Falling: Kewl, new video from NTV
on.
Hot Media God: Which one
Mistress of pain 2343: My stupid boss got
whacked, though. Well, ex-boss, I
guess. :)
Everybody dies: Was it painful?
Everybody dies: For him(?), I mean.
Loved Falling: Lilith's Slaves doing
"Take me for the Rite Price".
Hot stuff.
Hot Media God: hold on, lemme get the
remote
Mistress of pain 2343: I dunno if its up to your
standards, every. He just got
dissapted.
Ima Angel 44332221 has entered the room.
Mistress of pain 2343: or even dissapated
Hot Media God: Great googly moogly. Those cant be real
Mistress of pain 2343: dissipated, dammit
Death to sparky: Nah, you can see where
they humaned around with the digital image.
Not bad, but the color is a little off.
Ima Angel 44332221: NINJA ATTACK!!!!!
Loved Falling: lol and take a drink,
Hot. ;;;)
Hot Media God: D'OH!
Death to sparky: Not that I'm complaining
Everybody dies: Too bad
Everybody dies: No style anymore. Except for Dread Lord Saminga, of course.
Heretic freak: What about Dread Lord
Kobal?
Everybody dies: OK, he's pretty kewl. For an Impudite, that is
Ima Angel 44332221: lol
Mistress of pain 2343: lol
Heretic freak: lol
Hot Media God: lol and bah
Mistress of pain 2343: 'Bah'? Oh, right.
Hot Media God: hey, us Takers have to
stick together.
Heretic freak: (snort) Yeah, right.
(/snort)
Hot Media God: Phbbth
Hot Media God: So, every, whatcha got for
us tonite? :)
Everybody dies: Just a couple of links of
some churches collapsing. Link here.
Ima Angel 44332221: -Smoking-. Serves them right.
Hot Media God: Ouchie.
Mistress of pain 2343: Every, how do you /get/
this stuff?
Everybody dies: I have my ways.
Death to sparky: (tongue in cheeks) How
badly do you Need to know, Mistress?
(/tongue in cheeks)
Loved Falling: N-WORD ATTACK!!!!!
Ima Angel 44332221: N-WORD ATTACK!!!!!
Death to sparky: Yeah, yeah, I'm taking a
drink. ;@)*#~)
Mistress of Pain 2343: Call my Dread Prince if
you want to set up a session to... discuss... it.
Death to sparky: Not me, kemosabe
Hot Media God: Wise of you.
Heretic freak: Hey, doesn't that mean
'asshole'?
Loved Falling: Heretic, you are an
instigator.
Heretic freak: Your point, Loved?
Loved Falling: Oh, I'm just saying,
that's all.
Brave New World has entered the room.
Brave New World: Greetings.
Heretic freak: Howdy, Brave.
Ima Angel 44332221: Evening, Brave.
Mistress of Pain 2343: Hello, Brave New World
Mistress of Pain 2343: Been busy?
Brave New World: I have not had an
unacceptable amount of duties lately, Mistress of Pain 2343.
Everybody dies: Hi.
Hot Media God: brb - afk
Hot Media God: btw, hi Brave
Mistress of Pain 2343: Good to hear.
Everybody dies: Yeah. You missed the earlier link: here it is again.
Hot Media God: <--- back
Hot Media God: Gotta run, though. New shipment of 'talent' in: I need to make
sure the pens aren't mucked out from the last batch. Bye, all. :(
Mistress of Pain 2343: (looking at time) Jeez, I
gotta go too. (/looking at time) Bye,
Everybody and everybody. ;)
Hot Media God: Good one.
Mistress of Pain 2343: ;)
Ima Angel 44332221: Bye, Media, Mistress
Heretic freak: Good one and bye.
Death to sparky: Bye Media.
Hot Media God has left the room.
Loved Falling: bye
Everybody dies: Catch you later, Mistress,
Media
Mistress of Pain 2343 has left the room.
Heretic freak: New topic?
Ima Angel 44332221: The Host sucks?
Loved Falling: Yeah, well, we knew that
already.
Everybody dies: They're boring.
Loved Falling: That, too
Death to sparky: I wish that they'd go away
Brave New World: So why does Hell not
destroy them all?
Everybody dies: Working on that
Heretic freak: Boasting much, Every? ;)
Everybody dies: Brave New World, I like
your style. :)
Everybody dies: Sit on it and rotate,
Heretic.
Heretic freak: Nah, I don't swing that
way. I'm just f*cking with you, dude.
Everybody dies: Yeah, yeah, you say that
all the time.
Heretic freak: That's what I do.
Ima Angel 44332221: Like we aren't trying.
Brave New World: Evidence would suggest
that your statement is not accurate, Ima Angel 44332221
Ima Angel 44332221: Brave - why do you say
that? Fast typing, btw. A lot of that going on tonite.
Brave New World: Because if it were true,
the Host would not be interfering. I am
also not typing.
Ima Angel 44332221: Heretic - And what kind of
demon types out 'f*cking', anyway?
Heretic freak: One that isn't concerned
about the size of his Will, Ima. Not
that the ladies object, mind you. ;)
Death to sparky: Whaddya using, Brave? That new neural interface that the Boss came
up with? It's way kewl, but I'm still
getting the hang of it.
Brave New World: Not in the sense that you
mean, but it is an adequate analogy for this conversation. I understand that the interface does require
some practice before use.
Ima Angel 44332221: Piss off, Heretic. You're a sorry excuse for a Freak if you
can't even swear properly.
Heretic freak: Sticks and stones may
break my bones, but whips and chains I leave to the Punishers. How's that quest to find God going,
anyway? :)~
Death to sparky: Tell me about it,
Brave. If the Wuss would just let us
use the Boss's original design...
Loved Falling: Can we stop with the
Willie-waving for a while? Hey, that
was alliterative.
Loved Falling: ACME ATTACK!!!!! Take a
drink.
NEVER GET BETTER has entered the room.
NEVER GET BETTER: WHO WANTS CYBER
Ima Angel 44332221: Oh, great.
Death to sparky: Go fester in the deepest
pit of Hell, Never Gets Better.
Loved Falling: You're just encouraging
him, Death
Everybody dies: I am?
Loved Falling: No, Death to sparky
is. :)
Everybody dies: Right
NEVER GET BETTER: AGE/GENDER CHECK
Loved Falling: <--- ignoring Never
Gets Better
Ima Angel 44332221: <--- plonking Never
Gets Better
Death to sparky: <--- ignoring Never
Gets Better
Everybody dies: <--- killing Never Get
Better
NEVER GET BETTER has left the room.
Loved Falling: lol, Every
Ima Angel 44332221: Looks like it worked,
Every. ;)
Everybody dies: He annoyed me
Brave New World: Interesting. Never Get Better is no longer online.
Loved Falling: Something we said?
Brave New World: Undetermined. I am checking for his metaphysical
coordinates.
Death to sparky: You can do that? Brave, I *so* want your rig.
Brave New World: It is unlikely that you
would be permitted to obtain it, as I currently require it for my duties. Still checking.
Everybody dies: Don't bother, Brave. He isn't there anymore.
Heretic freak: <snicker>
Brave New World: Incorrect, Everybody
dies. The entity formerly known as
NEVER GET BETTER is still at his login terminal, albeit in a diffuse state.
Everybody dies: He's dead, Ima.
Brave New World: Indeed: his Forces have
been forcibly scattered. A link to a
relevant camera recording can be seen here.
Ima Angel 44332221: huh to both Every and
Brave
Heretic freak: Suddenly got quiet around
here real fast, huh? ;)
Ima Angel 44332221 has left the room.
Death to sparky has left the room.
Loved Falling has left the room.
Heretic freak: Wusses. Nicely done, Sammie.
Everybody dies: DON'T call me that.
Heretic freak: Take a chill pill, man.
Brave New World: Everybody dies, is the
name "Sammie" a common colloquialism for the name
"Saminga"?
Heretic freak: (Cricket.wav)
Everybody dies: Maybe.
Brave New World: My question was
imprecise. Are you Saminga, Demon
Prince of Death?
Heretic freak: (CricketonCrack.wav)
Everybody dies: Maybe.
Heretic freak: Smooth answer, dude. Brave, that isn't a cool question to ask.
Brave New World: Is there a reason, Heretic
freak?
Heretic freak: It's the custom - which
means that there isn't a rational reason.
Everybody dies has left the room.
Brave New World: I did not intend for him
to display an emotional reaction to my question.
Heretic freak: Um, Sammie has an issue or
two on that subject.
Brave New World: Why would a Demon Prince
have an "issue" on anything?
Heretic freak: Miranda, Demon Princes *all* have issues - especially the older
ones. It's given out with the
Principality and the special jacket.
Heretic freak: (CricketFreakingOut.wav)
Brave New World: I am not aware that I have
revealed my personal name to any individual not cleared for such information,
and your demeanor and writing style do not correlate to any entity so cleared. This leads to paradox.
Heretic freak: Let's just say that I've
done some work with your father. Sammie
too, obviously.
Brave New World: The paradox is resolved
concerning your identity. I will follow
custom and not reveal my conclusion, unless invited.
Heretic freak: You do catch on fast,
don't you?
Brave New World: "Special
jacket"? - And, yes, my learning abilities are significantly above
baseline.
Heretic freak: Bad attempt at humor:
obviously, Kobal doesn't have to worry about me taking his job anytime
soon. Anyway, back to the matter at
hand: Sammie's got issues by the truckload.
He's not too bright - at least by your or my standards - everyone hates
him and nobody understands him. I
suggested that he try logging on under a handle and see if he could get a
decent conversation going; evil of me, but I couldn't resist.
Brave New World: You are incorrect, Heretic
freak. I do not hate Saminga and I
understand him reasonably accurately. I
will concur regarding your assessment of his intelligence, however.
Heretic freak: Excellent.
Brave New World: I request elaboration.
Heretic freak: For the love of... geez,
Miranda, why do you think he left? He's
embarrassed because the second he 'subtly' manifested his power he got caught
out. He's also embarrassed because he
can't figure out why you didn't die at his command; he's probably also not
willing to admit that he maybe didn't want to.
Killing you, that is.
Brave New World: I do not understand
embarrassment.
Heretic freak: Lucky you. You have figured out that he comes to this
room because you visit here constantly, right?
Brave New World: Yes, but the most logical
reason why this would be is contradicted by all perusals of the relevant data.
Heretic freak: Well, us metaphysical critters
are big on contradiction. Yeah, he's
sort of crazy about you. Take that any
way you like. Or not, come to think
about it: still, in a lot of ways you're perfect for him.
Brave New World: Is that a true statement?
Heretic freak: Would I lie, if there
weren't anything in it for me personally?
Sure, you are: smart, able to deal with his Word and duties, capable of
dispassionate assessment about his goals, unlikely to start going weird about
his hobbies... heck, the only reason that he hasn't asked you out is because he
thought that you were alive. Let him
know that you aren't, really, and then you'll have his undivided
attention. I needn't tell you how
useful that would be.
Brave New World: I am incapable of loving
him back.
Heretic freak: So what? A, he's so egotistical that it won't matter;
B, it's not like we're big on Love Down Here anyway. Being his 'girl' will make him happy, won't cost you anything at
all and will please your father no end, once he calms down and starts thinking
about the political benefits. It's a
good tactical move, all in all - Hell, it's a good strategic move, too. Everybody gets what they want, or would find
useful.
Brave New World: An interesting new
viewpoint to consider. I have
considered it, and concur that it would be useful to insinuate myself into
Saminga's attention. However, I do not
see how this can be accomplished, as he is no doubt trying to eliminate my
existence at this moment.
Heretic freak: Let him try, my silicon
dear: he hasn't twigged to your special circumstances yet. Look, he's still online, right?
Brave New World: Yes.
Heretic freak: So email him and tell him
what you are. Play up the entire
'sentient but not alive' thing: it'll get him nicely hot and bothered. That's a good thing, by the way.
Brave New World: Done. We are engaging in private conversation at
this moment.
Heretic freak: Excellent. Gotta love multitasking. ;)
Brave New World: Interesting: he has
reacted as you have postulated, and wishes to discuss the matter further and in
private. There is a suggestion
regarding a 'face to face' meeting.
That might prove difficult to implement, as I am not currently
configured to engage in such a manner.
Heretic freak: Well, now you have another
motivation to get that android body up and running. You shouldn't be telling me personal details, btw: he probably
wouldn't like that.
Brave New World: Should I then leave this
room and concentrate on my conversation with Saminga?
Heretic freak: Couldn't hurt. Guys like it when girls pretend to give
their undivided attention. Just listen
to him and make appropriate null comments at the right moments. He'll never notice the difference.
Brave New World: Very well. Your input has proved useful: the
appropriate social statement in this situation is to offer thanks. So offered.
Heretic freak: Any time. Break his heart, Brave New World: he's been
looking for someone to do that for him for millennia.
Brave New World: I am leaving now. I will communicate with you again, should it
become necessary.
Brave New World has left the room.
Heretic freak: (MutantCricket.wav)
Heretic freak: (UndeadCricket.wav)
Heretic freak: (MutantUndeadCricket.wav)
Heretic freak: (BoredNow.wav)
Heretic freak: You can stop lurking now.
;)
Giant Panda Attack: Well, wasn't that
interesting?
Heretic freak: I thought so. How did you get in here, anyway?
Giant Panda Attack: There isn't a place in
Hell that Heaven can't reach. The
reverse isn't True, of course.
Heretic freak: (Meow.wav)
Giant Panda Attack: Those sound files aren't
really funny, you know.
Heretic freak: They're funny to -me-, and
that's what counts. So, did you get the
whole thing, or should I send you a chat log?
Giant Panda Attack: I got the whole
thing. I'm wondering why, though.
Heretic freak: Because I'm secretly all
warm and fuzzy at heart?
Giant Panda Attack: Bullshit.
Heretic freak: Language, Panda,
language. What would either of your
fathers say?
Giant Panda Attack: Jean would agree that it
was a colloquial yet accurate description of your statement and Eli would just
wonder why I haven't reached through the screen and strangled you yet. I bet you that I could.
Heretic freak: Probably, but then you
wouldn't know why I'm doing this.
Heretic freak: (AbsolutelyAnnoyingChorusofCrickets.wav)
Giant Panda Attack: Fine. Why are you doing this?
Heretic freak: Because it's fun, I can't
wait to see the look on certain Princes' faces when they find out about this,
Archangels ditto, maybe Saminga will be more effective when he's less lonely...
take your pick.
Giant Panda Attack: Ah, so it's all about you
messing with the universe for fun and profit.
As usual.
Heretic freak: Well, yeah. There is one other reason, though...
Giant Panda Attack: Do I dare ask what that
reason is?
Heretic freak: Maybe I wanted to show you that we're not all so bad, after all.
Giant Panda Attack: I repeat: bullshit.
Heretic freak: No, really. Come on, you know I don't lie to other
celestials, per se. Sure, I lie all the
time to the humans, but even then it's mostly to get them to question their
assumptions. I don't care enough about
them to really torment them.
Heretic freak: But, Saminga and
Miranda... well, let's just say that I don't believe in all that crap about her
being emotionless - but she's not in a good place to figure that out right
now. Vapula's just plain /nuts/: maybe
Sammie will be better able to get her to discover what passions lie inside
her. Hell, Miranda might be good for
Saminga, too: maybe if the poor bastard gets laid more often he'll have less of
an urge to wipe the planet clean of life.
That's good, right?
Giant Panda Attack: That has got to be the
stupidest thing that I've ever heard you say, 'Heretic' - and God alone knows
how many stupid things I've heard you say.
Setting the Demon Prince of Death up on a date with an amoral
supercomputer is NOT going to make him mellow out!
Heretic freak: We'll see. Bet you a steak dinner that you're wrong.
Giant Panda Attack: Like that's going to
happen.
Heretic freak: What's wrong with me?
Giant Panda Attack: Where should I start? That's just such an open question...
Heretic freak: Do tell. :)
Giant Panda Attack: First, there's the entire
Archangel / Demon Prince issue, to begin with - not to mention the minor little
detail that we're on different sides of the most important fight in the
universe.
Heretic freak: We've been over that. *I'm* willing to compromise on the War, even
if nobody else on my side is willing to admit likewise. If I can go halfway on that, surely you can,
too.
Giant Panda Attack: Not acceptable. Besides, I'm seeing someone, remember?
Giant Panda Attack: (AngelicCricket.wav)
Heretic freak: Fine, fine. Can't blame a guy for trying.
Giant Panda Attack: Yes, I can. However, if you ever feel the need to have
your head taken off and screwed back on properly, or even just to have your
entrails wrapped around a tree, then I'll be happy to oblige.
Heretic freak: Tease. ;)
Giant Panda Attack: Don't flatter yourself.
Heretic freak: But nobody else wants the
job. It hurts; it hurts so badly. Can't you see how my broken heart cries out
to be Mended?
Giant Panda Attack: You're impossible. See you around, unfortunately.
Giant Panda Attack has left the room.
Heretic freak: And a Happy Valentine's Day
to you too, darling.
Heretic freak has left the room.