Xaphan
Habbalite Knight of the Dead
Ethereal Forces: 3 Intelligence:
6 Precision: 6
Celestial Forces: 6 Will:
12 Perception: 12
Word-Forces: 2
Vessel: male/2, female/2, both with Charisma +1
Skills: Dodge/3, Emote/3, Fast-Talk/6, Fighting/2,
Knowledge (Nutrition/2, Physiology/2, Psychology/2), Medicine/3, Ranged
Weapon/1 (pistol)
Songs: Dreams (Corporeal/2, Ethereal/2,
Celestial/1), Charm (Ethereal/3, Celestial/3), Shields (All/3), Tongues
(Ethereal/4)
Attunements: Habbalite of Death, Calabite of Death,
Zombi, Vampiric Kiss, Natural Causes, Knight of Death, Angel of Killing Them
With Kindness:
Killing Them With Kindness: Xaphan causes no
Disturbance when killing a human, provided that he does it by giving said human
precisely what he or she asked for.
Rites: Kill a human with kindness.
Now, it should be said that the Word 'Killing Them
with Kindness' might have a different interpretation if a non-Habbalite held
it. Then again, it might not: Saminga
can be a little literal-minded when it comes to phrases that include the word
'kill'. He's certainly literal-minded
about this one.
So is Xaphan, not that he actually realizes it. The Habbalite sees himself as a witty, sophisticated
critic of humanity in general and their weaknesses in particular. His scenarios are designed to illustrate
this by graphically demonstrating how humans always want that which will
destroy them. Xaphan is quite proud of
his sense of the absurd: indeed, he considers his work to far surpass that of
those pathetic fools at Dark Humor.
That's his opinion, at least. Everyone else thinks that he's a humorless,
obnoxious little twit who wouldn't recognize irony if you hit him with it. His precious 'scenarios' come in two flavors
(heavy handed and incomprehensible), his (unjustified) opinion of his
sophistication is only matched by his completely unwarranted pride in his
abilities and there has never been a documented case where Xaphan has actually managed
to be deliberately funny.
Oh, Xaphan kills people all the time - no question
there, and indeed there's quite a few angels that want to have a little chat
with him about it - but, frankly, the Punisher has the artistic, aesthetic and
dramatic skill of a moldy radish. He
can't even manage to make his tableaus particularly disturbing and/or
frightening, which takes real skill for a Servitor of Death. His work is instead just... vaguely sad, to
the point where his fellow demons feel oddly embarrassed and apologetic about
it. Yes, kill humans, no argument there
- but, come on, possibly one could be a bit more darkly majestic about it? Hell has a certain reputation to keep up,
after all, and Xaphan isn't helping it at all.
Unfortunately, nobody serving Death can really say anything to him: you
see, Saminga finds the Habbalite's work to be amazingly subtle and humorous.
That should tell you everything else that you need to know, actually.