Sloth-Man and Cheetah-Girl!
Ethereal Detectives
Sloth-Man
Ethereal Forces: 4 Intelligence:
8 Precision: 8
Celestial Forces: 3 Will:
6 Perception: 6
Elements: Information (Perspective) (primary); Society (Culture) (secondary)
Affinities: Divination (Strong); Deception
(Moderate)
Skills: Area Knowledge/4 (August Prosperity
Collective), Artistry/1 (piano), Detect Lies/4, Dreaming/1, Emote/4, Knowledge
(Criminology/6, Psychology/6), Language (English/3 [native], Helltongue/1,
Japanese/3), Savoir-Faire/4, Survival/1 (The Marches)
Songs: Charm (Ethereal/3), Entropy (Celestial/3),
Draining (Celestial/1), Opening (Ethereal/1), Truth (Corporeal/1, Ethereal/1)
Dread: Misunderstanding something important/4 (12
pt)
Image: An
anthropomorphic cartoon sloth wearing a deerstalker cap, a somewhat
oriental-looking bathrobe and fuzzy slippers.
Cheetah-Girl
Corporeal Forces: 1 Strength:
2 Agility: 2
Ethereal Forces: 3 Intelligence:
6 Precision: 6
Celestial Forces: 3 Will:
6 Perception: 6
+2 Charisma
Elements: Information (News) (primary); Struggle
(The Hunt) (secondary)
Affinities: Puissance (Club) (Strong); Divination
(Moderate)
Skills: Area Knowledge (August Prosperity
Collective/2, the Marches/3), Detect Lies/1, Dodge/2, Dreaming/3, Emote/1,
Fighting/3, Language (English/3 [native], Helltongue/3, Japanese/1), Large
Weapon/3 (Club), Move Silently/2, Savoir-Faire/1, Seduction/2, Survival/4 (The
Marches), Tracking/1
Songs: Draining (Celestial/1), Entropy (Celestial/1),
Memory (Ethereal/2), Might (Ethereal/3)
Dread: Forgetting something important/2 (6pt)
Image: An anthropomorphic (and unambiguously female)
cartoon cheetah in running shoes and tracksuit.
They don't have very many choices. Try to remember that.
It's not easy to be ethereals formed from popular
culture (in this case, a successful American animated television show from the
late 1970s - one that only exists in the In Nomine universe, so
don't go looking). When the first rush
of belief is over, and you can start to feel the Essence start to ever so
slightly slip away, the question of what you'll do to survive stops being
academic and starts becoming terrifyingly important. You start looking for options - and if you haven't learned the
difference between what you want to do and what you have to do,
well, you learn fast, or die.
Joining up with the August Prosperity Collective
wasn't a pleasant decision - but it was the only one going at the time. The Collective was willing enough to let
Sloth-Man and Cheetah-Girl take a place at the table, subject to a few
conditions. Like serving Hell;
specifically, Nybbas and his charming quest to drive all of humanity's leisure
activities down to the lowest common denominator. It was a harsh and cruel condition... but they swallowed it, to
their quiet shame. Many entities
aligned with the forces of Good pretty much stop caring about Sloth-Man and
Cheetah-Girl's motivations at this point, and the ethereals honestly can't blame
them much for it.
The other major condition was that the two ethereals
use their abilities for their new masters.
In the original animated show, the two were detectives: Cheetah-Girl
would go out and investigate crimes and Sloth-Man would solve them with his
superior brainpower (yes, very Nero Wolfe of them; when you're going to steal,
steal from the masters). This hasn't
changed: they still go out and solve mysteries... for the Collective, and
ultimately for Hell. The horrid bit is
that they are good at it, and not entirely because they're being essentially
coerced. One of the tragedies of being
an ethereal is that it feels good to do the things associated with your
elements: if you are the sort of entity designed to solve puzzles and
mysteries, there's a certain joy in solving them, even if solving them would
aid someone else whom you despise.
There's also the minor point that the time that the
two solve mysteries is time not spent by, say, Sloth-Man ferreting out
spies and informants, or Cheetah-Girl 'entertaining' lucky demons or Hellsworn
with certain tastes. The work is
salvation; the work is betrayal. The
work is the work.
They try not to think about what they once were:
cheerful, sappy, ready to solve everyone's problems in twenty-two and a half
minutes. Sure, they can project those
emotions - you don't last long working for Nybbas without giving him exactly
what he expects of you - and on those rare occasions where they can act
according to their original natures, they will, with a pathetic eagerness. But they get the chance less often than they
do to show mercy in their investigations.
When they can do that, they do... but each is the hostage of the
other, which means that risks that seem acceptable when applied to one seem
much less so when applied to two.
Believe them: they have no choice at all. Heaven is closed to them. The other ethereal pantheons either hate the
modern spirits that have supplanted their worship, or are incapable of withstanding
the might of Heaven and Hell. This is
the only choice besides a lingering death.
There are no other options, much as either would wish for it. Much as either have looked for one, in those
few moments stolen from degrading work and even more degrading service. There is no other way.
What?
No. The
Grail is a pretty myth, but it is lost, and will not be found.