Flying Albino Flaming Bouncing Cyborg Subterranean
Cave Monkeys... OF DOOM!!!!!
(The You Have Got to Be Kidding Mes)
GM: So, you're going to call in that favor from
Lightning?
Player 1: Yup.
GM: OK, you make contact with Revelations and
Design. They're acknowledging the
favor: what were you going to ask for?
Player 1: Good question. Umm... we needed some tech-types who were able to hold their own
in a fight; right, guys?
Other Players: (various statements indicating
agreement)
Player 1: OK, I tell R&D that we need that, that
we could use the help pretty quickly and whomever they can spare would be
great.
GM: Gotcha.
Make me a reaction roll.
(clatter clatter clatter)
Player 1: Crap.
GM: You failed?
Player 1: Not exactly.
GM (hopefully): Infernal Intervention?
Player 1: Worse.
Triple 3s.
GM: Whimsical Intervention?
Player 1: Yeah.
GM: Oh, my.
Wait a second... yeah. R&D
knows just who to send. In fact,
they're coming down right now. The air
shimmers in a cool transporter-like effect...
Player 1: How many?
GM: It looks like six or so... yup, six. There are definitely six of them. One of them comes up to your party, more or
less, and salutes with both his left arm and a tail. You barely dodge the latter, by the way. The other five have already moved in all
directions, screeching as they go...
Player 1: Oh, no.
GM: Oh, yes.
R&D sent down a squad of Flying Albino Flaming Bouncing Cyborg
Subterranean Cave Monkeys... OF DOOM!!!!!
(pause)
Player 2: I roll to disbelieve.
GM: Wrong game.
Party: Crap.
Try to think of this Choir as a sentient expression
of Newton's Third Law... no, that isn't quite right. Consider them a reflection of Jean's primal drives and outlook...
eh, that just sounds inane. Reflect on
them as an example of the cosmic metaphorical paradoxes that exist within
Lightning and Heaven... no, I have no idea what that means, either.
Look, they exist, Jean apparently finds them useful
and nobody pushes the issue. Can you
deal with that?
Well, all right then: let's just move on, God help
us all.
The resonance for a FAFBCSCMoD!!!!! is for -
OK, you got me there. Nobody's actually
completely sure: not even the Seraphim can get to the bottom of this one. It would appear that this Choir works on a
completely different level of reality than just about everybody else: whether
this is a higher or a lower plane is subject to some bemused debate, but it's
clearly different. What they do
presumably makes sense to themselves, Jean and (one would hope) the other
Archangels: everybody else just smiles faintly and hopes that the FAFBCSCMoD!!!!!
know what they're doing.
As a practical matter, however, they seem to be
quite good at settling down disturbance: a successful resonance roll will cut
all current disturbance in half and accelerate the rate by which echoes fade
(divide the amount of disturbance by the CD of the successful resonance roll to
determine duration). No one is quite
sure whether this is deliberate, accidental or even noticed by the FAFBCSCMoD!!!!!.
Again, nobody's sure. There have been documented cases where a FAFBCSCMoD!!!!!
has certainly acted, more or less, as if it had suffered dissonance -
but there is currently no consensus on what sparked the condition. As a general rule of thumb, angels attempt
to avoid putting a FAFBCSCMoD!!!!! in a situation where it has to deal
with more than 300 points of disturbance going off at once: there's a slight -
very slight - indication that this might be a trigger. Besides, avoiding that much disturbance is a
good thing to do under general principles.
FAFBCSCMoD!!!!! look like exactly that:
flying, albino, flaming, bouncing, cyborged, subterranean cave monkeys (the 'of
DOOM!!!!!' part is assumed).
They take this appearance on all three planes: nobody's ever reported
them taking a human vessel, or looking like anything else. It's widely accepted that this is not their
'true' form, but merely a convenient icon for the benefit of those with limited
sensory apparatuses. Considering that
even angels are subject to this, and they themselves can see dimensions that
humans can only perceive with the aid of powerful hallucinogens, their true
form must be unique indeed. All
FAFBCSCMoD!!!!! wear sleeveless vests with pockets stuffed full of the
oddest equipment.
Generally, FAFBCSCMoD!!!!! get along well
enough with the rest of the Host, if only by default: if they dislike any
particular Choir, well, how would you know?
Still, FAFBCSCMoD!!!!! act generally like angels, and do
selfless, angelic things like rescue people, protect the innocent and Smite the
wicked. For their part, the Host tries
to ignore them whenever possible and smile a lot when they do show up. Communication is not, strictly speaking,
impossible... but it's hard to make friends with someone when you're not even
sure if you're ever dealing with the same entity twice. If this uniquely isolated state bothers the
FAFBCSCMoD!!!!!... eh, you'll probably never know, anyway.
No one ever brings up the subject of whether
FAFBCSCMoD!!!!! Fall, or what they Fall into. Ever. Jean doesn't answer
those questions and nobody wants to think about the Infernal version. They especially don't want to imagine what
Vapula might be able to do with the equivalent Band.
Whatever the GM feels like: this is a strictly-NPC
race designed to plug gaping plot holes, flaws in narrative causality and
generally befuddle PCs. Roll some dice
and go from there.
See above.
Flying
Albino Flaming Bouncing Cyborg Subterranean Cave Monkeys... OF DOOM!!!!! in the
Host
Jean has just begun to create this Choir. Actually, that's not been conclusively
established: it could be that he's just begun to let the knowledge of their
existence to be spread throughout the Host.
Presuming, of course, that he even creates the FAFBCSCMoD!!!!! in
the first place: it's been seriously suggested that the 'angels' of this
'Choir' are actually refugees/contract workers/mercenaries/tourists from a
particularly odd alternate dimension.
Whatever they are, Jean has been using them in slightly increasing
numbers since the first time that they showed up.
When they do show up, it's usually to either:
frantically work on bizarre tasks that seem to have nothing to do with the
situation at hand; messily eviscerate Servitors of Technology and other demons
that attempt to play with the pretty laws of physics; or engage in chloral
singing. No, they really do that: Jean does
answer that question of why.
Apparently, it is a net gain for the universe if there was more chloral
singing going on, so Jean has instructed the FAFBCSCMoD!!!!! to engage
in it whenever possible. Alas, the
mathematical calculations necessary to support this assertion of Jean's are so
complex that they cause headaches at 20 feet and unconsciousness at 5, so
you'll have to take Jean's word for it.
Flying
Albino Flaming Bouncing Cyborg Subterranean Cave Monkeys... OF DOOM!!!!! of
Lightning
Most entities are guessing perfect pitch... which
apparently also gives a +1 to the CD of a successful Song roll, so many angels
want access to this Attunement. They
are unlikely to get it any time soon.