Editor's Note from Bekri, July 2000

Okay, I'm not funny and or witty. I can't spell to save my life. Really, I'm not that interesting so unless you want to read my senseless ramblings in Gambian grammar then you all really have to submit stuff, it can be anything. A poem, a joke, drawings or doodles anything really goes. Its not like I am really going to edit anything except if it is making fun of me but then even then I'll put it in cause I really don't think that I will want to try to find other stuff to fill the pages. It all depends on you all to give your asses some quality reading material to wipe with when its 2a.m. and you have the shits.
Okay I'm done

Beckri

PS " I just want to give a shout out to all those fine ladies in PCtG. Damm you all are fine! And to all the little homies, its been real. Peace Out." Elizabeth-the sister
PPS this was going to be called the TOM VEHE issue but decided against it for he seems to have a sensitive ego. So the name stands

I lied... I still have more to say
I've been in two different continents during our country's independence day (not including the Gambia) and in both I was able to celebrate our victory over the tea drinkers with my fellow Americans. I wont say that I am the most patriotic person but it would have been nice to be able to spend a traditional American holiday with my fellow citizens.
I was away from the states for a month one time and when I got to go to a real American celebration and eat real ice cream it made my day. I can just imagine how nice it would have been to go to such a gathering in Africa. I am sure the embassy people were to busy putting up the new security system to bother with such a little holiday.
Oh well, at least there was the Fishbowl Jr. cookout and the little gathering in Basse. It would have sucked to learn that the ambassador threw something and didn't invite PC. That would have been a slap on our face. It would have been like saying, "yes you are Americans living far away from the homeland being cheep ambassadors but you all don't really count but go on spreading Americanism to these people" That just wouldn't have been cool. Its not like our moral could get any lower or anything or could it. At least I had fun in Basse with a couple of goats, some kids calling me toubab and friends.
Happy Independence Day! Maybe if we are luck we can celebrate Gambias Independence Day together.

BE

June Mailrun - Journey of the Gods

Sal (The God's pegasus) - "We were on a mission from God"
It was the second coming, said some, others proclaimed they were the first "real ones."  Many people learned the meaning of Libation, a handfull dared to drink the secret drink of the Gods, Jeigermeister.  Laymen questioned the origin of the strange people dressed like Mauritanians wearing special medicinal leaves on their heads.  One bread seller on the Banjul-Barra ferry asked, "what society are you from?"  But most ordinary peoples were afraid to approach the Gods, they queried Sal, the faithful driver.  Kate bowed to the Gods, someone else offered fresh breast milk for 2 dalasi  a liter.  A new standard has been set for mailrun.

The following are our own Gods and Goddesses in Peace Corps, its full of surprises.

Sara		Goddess of The Brew
Meg		      "         "  Small Boys
Liz		      "         "  Happiness
Kate W.		      "         "  Popular men
Julie V. 		      "         "  Materialism
Katy N.		 Princess of Pursuing Pimps (PPP)
Rose		      "         "  Fashion
Heather		      "         "  YO
Lanae		      "         "  Belly Dancing
Jean		      "         "  Fishbowl Jr. Love Palace
Nisha		      "         "  Seduction and Temptation
Lynn		      "         "  Pushy Petite People Power
Clara		      "         "  Patience and Understanding
Heidi		      "         "  Graceful Blackouts and Ferocious Determination
Ellen		Still Immortal
Lisa		      "         "  Horses
Kendra		      "         "  Bad Influences
Beckri		      "         "   Adornment
Rachel		      "         "  Breast Milk
Shannon		      "         "  Fatoto
AnneMarie	      "         "  Great Fanos
Dana 		      "         "   Uninteligible Language
Melanie		      "         "  Sensuality(she's already affecting me)
Kate B.		      "         "  Manhole Covers
Alicia		      "         "  Smiles
Sara J.		      "         "  Peace Corps Lyricists
Jean R.		      "         "  Flashing
Deb		      "         "  Tall Things
Rebekah		      "         "  Desire
Jen J.		      "         "  7 foot tall cross dressers
Kyenne		      "         "  The Peace Corps Office
Tamara		      "         "  Extension
Karen		      "         "  Oragami
Jen B.		      "         "  Underwear Washing
Shamsi		      "         "  Globe

Errol		   God       "  Jackasses
James 		      "         "  Fashion
Gavin		      "         "  Lust and Sexual Desire
Mike A.		      "         "  Pimpin' and Pricks
An 		      "         "  Afrodesiacs
Paul		      "         "  Gambian Lovin'
Tim Bean	      Still Amortal
Kevin D.	      "         "   A-Team
Jeremy		Goddess of Friends Videos
Tim Burroughs	    God      "   Shannon
Robbie		      "         "   Skinks and Other assorted small lizards that run around the backyard
Doug		      "         "   Bearded Ladies
Dave		      "         "   Danger
Justin 		      "         "   Discombobulated Effeminate God
Teague		      "         "   Studs
Tom		      "         "   Love
Matt		      "         "   Few Words
Steve		      "         "   Red Wood Trees
Winston		      "         "   Basketball
Zach		      "         "   Funny Hand Puppets
Kevin M.	      "         "   Tamara
Mike Jeffe	      "         "   Mind Control
Chris		      "         "   Chilli
Adam 		      "         "   Big Egos
Marc 		      "         "   Fashion
Mad Dog	    "          "    Random Acts of Violence
Kevin D                    "        "     Family Feud
Carlos the Jewish Irishman  (Aaang)  The International Man of Mystery - 
			The God of the Extended House Sitting

Preoject Predictions for the new " second years' " second years.:

Marc Maxson - Starts a support group for victims of American stalkers in West Africa
Jean - "jean, oh jean, you let me get lucky with you"
Clara - Starts an orphanage for retarded cats
Heather - Gets a spot on GRTS Farafeni: Your Daily "YO" and other evening greetings.
Jackie - Offers her body as a human bridge across the south bank "hole" s o that her sister and her computers can make it to site
Dana - Spanks a small boy, then says, "Oh wait. No, um, I didn't mean that. Y'know...."
Lisa- Will start a motorcross course in Basse
Winston - Reveals true nature as a Rasta Messiah sent to redeem bumsters. Then starts church named after himself, of course.
An - Gets a lifetime membership to wheels and travels around the country getting small boys to pick up smoking his free cigars.
Adam - Finds out "smell ya layder dog" is actually secret code for French Spy Network and is Admin-sepped as suspected spy.
Jen Burns - starts a betting ring on the next coup/riot/road collapse
Jackie - Drinks hydrochloric acid then accidentally vomits it up on her headmaster while he is lecturing her about being "uncivilized"
Kevin - Decides that 1 and 1 can make 3 if the majority of his students are in support of the change.
Karen - starts a neighborhood watch, where she watches her watchman watch her next door neighbors..
Clara - discovers an active volcano in front of Marc apartment.
Zack - Starts Casamance motorcycle gang "Los Bandidos D'Ayudar" which manages to redistribute the wealth of Kombo across the land, double life expectancy, and end hunger and suffering, but gets admin sepped when Tom sees him riding without his patented "Bullhorn Helmet" on GRTS.
Kendra - will attempt to usurp Amelda Marcos in number of shoes owned (if Kevin doesn't destroy them all trying to dance in them)
Annmarie- will realize that she is not an Irish catholic but a Scottish jew
Rebecca - Leaves to start a line of finger puppets based on Peace Corps' Personalities and their respective stalkers.
Deb - Starts an income generating project in her village making spanking paddles.
Tom - after realizing that his trees will not be ready to carve in the next year he scraps his dildo for the Gambia action plan and starts working on a way to tap palm wine straight into a cup without bees and crap
Clara- will write a book on the pros and cons of training your kitten with the fridge door
Adam - Gets deported by Gambian Gov't after they decide they want exclusive marketing and franchise rights to the "Free Digs Zone"
Rebecca - Goes broke buying all the spankers.
Rachael - Sells a lot of sauce and then builds a giant stadium for midget lacrosse tournaments in Fatoto.
Liz "Dancing Queen" Johnson - finishes the 6 month challenge, climbs the tallest mountain, bikes across the River Gambia, paints a mural with her tongue, and then is ex-communicated by the Pope for said things.
Julie V. - Decides to change her last name to Zvalinchensky so people will stop calling her "Julie V".
Sarah H. - After accepting "Humanitarian of the Year" award from Fishbowl on behalf of her mother, "Sara's Mom", who couldn't make it, reveals that the reason she opposed the "magazines" was because one contained compromising pictures of her and 3 midgets.
Spanky - tried to join Peace Corps in 2000 but was denied because his 3rd molar was a millimeter too large. Instead they took Alphalpha, who then changed his name to "Ang".
Nisha - Returns home to capitalize on her Internet start-up idea: Sell perfume of Gambian scents on the internet (goat piss, donkey rear, essence of small boy)
Tim B - Starts interviewing bitik owners about their sweat shop practices for GRTS "Inside Edition" in a bunny suit.
Tim B - Loses keys in the camo, then loses a magnet tied to a string in the camo, then loses a small boy tied to a rope in the camo.
Steve - After trying farming for a season will realize the true beauty in ataya brewing and dope wars.
Matt - will become the spokesman for liquid courage
Tim B - Struggles with his identity when a new volunteer is also seen wearing the same "Union Yes" shirt.
Kyene - Makes contact with Aliens from her cosy hut in Pirang using a Sunny, and publishes their splendid recipe for Kiwi-Plum-Coos balls.
Tom - spends whole second year with eyes shut. Becomes country director.
Melanie - Goes back to Canada to sing a duet with Sean Connery titled "Asparagus", just because people like hearing Sean use the word "Asparagus".
Kevin - Begins to rule the world universe from Bakadagey after Gamtel installs a phone, thus enabling direct contact with The Brain.
Jen J - Says "Ding Dong". Later, says "No problems". Other stuff happens too, possibly.
Chris - Become PCV resource teacher of the year and gets his picture in the international PCV newsletter.
Beckri - Will decide to become the best PC voluteer in history and stays at site for the next year and plant a million trees.
Kate - A leperchaun gives each of her students three wishes. Unfortunately, none of them are able to formulate an independent thought and so her village is flooded by fifty thousand Pens.
Jeremy - leperchaun gives his students each three wishes and then leaves disgusted because 'Yes' is not a wish
Tom - will say something funny.... When he is drunk

Second Years' Third Year Predictions

Sarah - Try to do a coup in the states but it fails due to foot ailments
Mike Jeffe - Will try to make it another year without doing the bee dance for people
Doug - Will realize that to be pimp ass drug dealer... in dope wars* one has to deal with more than weed.
Dave - Steps out into a 70F cool Chicago breeze, gets scared, returns.
Mike - Goes "cookoo" for coco puffs, makes a million on commercials, decides his prospects are better spent with a million in West Africa, and returns.
Shamsi - has a nervous breakdown when mother drops her off at the local library for an hour to check her email, downloads it all instantly, first time, without ANY problems, and twiddles thumbs for 59 minutes.
Lynn - finds out there's cement at the south pole, lots of it. Spends the next 2 years scrubbing those cement floors until she falls in love with a penguin and lives the life of a polar hermit.
Katie - Arrives at her luscious two bedroom apartment in the Zambian bush (with maid service), puts down her bags, smiles, and then is viciously mauled by the last Gambian elephant in a freak occurrence.
Teague - Moves to LA and becomes the first waiter who is actually not an actor but a starving biologist waiting to get shipped off to some turtle island
Robbie - Will try to join Hells Angels after the Coast Guard stationed him to Minnesota for some intense boarder/lake patrol duty and he freaks out by the commitment
Alicia - Eats the yellow snow in Montana and decides it makes her reminscient of "goat spray" on Bush Taxis; returns.
Shannon - Works at Fridays, then buys a Saturday Night Special and robs a Sundae shop because her mundane job was too lame.
Tamara - Gets stuck in Iran on her way home and starts a witness protection program for rodents. Okay, fine, she gets home after all.
Sara Johnston - Invests in foam matress futures and strikes it rich, after thousands of RPVCs become bedridden from wearing poorly made orthopedic shoes.
Gavin - returns to Southern Oregon thinking its Northern California but is puzzled that there is no sales tax.
Opens every interview with "You know I turned down a chance to live with the monkeys"
Heidi - Will last 3 seconds in the MN winter before moving out West to open a piercing parlor in Northern CA except she goes bankrupt because of sales tax
Julie & Ellen - Finds their roots and turn into a southern belles.
Errol - Starts a standup routine based on Rebecca' successful line of finger puppets. Wakes up, then, returns the next morning. Reasons: drug wars, and the hope of one day driving the ferry,
Justin - Goes home speaking a weird fula/german mix with a texan accent, drinks a lot, then returns, then drinks a lot, and goes home.

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