Hello, all here is a rather odd and incredibly long report from my
experiences at the Seattle Kotei.

Friday:
I head on down to the Wizards of the Coast game center where the Kotei will
be, and chat with Tibbles for a while about the Kotei the next day and what I
should play.  I am want to play Crab and I have been messing around with an
honorable Crab deck for a while and was planning on playing that, but I knew
it was very weak against Mo5, Ninja holding kill, and hard-core honor
runners, which I was expecting to comprise most of the field.  So I as usual
was complaining to any and all who would listen.  But, other then that I
really liked my deck and thought that it would do OK, and I really wanted to
try and make it win.  As there was an Open tournament that night I decided to
test my deck against what I thought would be a good approximation of the
field... I got slaughtered.  Now I want you to understand that I am not
saying I lost, and was annoyed with that, not at all, I was absolutely
annihilated.
   
    In The first round I played Dan Karue (God I hope that spelling is
correct) one of my friends from the area.  He was playing Unicorn and he
started by flipping his provinces and getting Inheritance, Kamoku, Silk
Works, and something not quite as memorable.  He buys both and says go.  I
flip get Inheritance, Sukune, Hiruma Dojo, and Silence, buy Dojo, and say go.
 He flips over a Gift, gets the Sword, puts it on Kamoku attacks, takes a
province, and it all goes down hill from there.
0-1

    Next round I play another Unicorn, with similar results.
0-2

    I do not even remember the rest of the Tournament except that I think I
won one game, which did not bode well for Saturday.

    So after the tournament Dan from the first round, Jason another local who
plays a really nifty Fox deck, and I head over to Tibbles house to play test,
and sleep.  I really should have known better.  We get to the house and we
decide to watch Last Man Standing, we then head back up stairs to find Frank
Chafe, Tibbles, and about 8 other people at the house all trading, playing
and in general goofing off.  It was a lot of fun, but not conducive to
play testing a deck.  So we sit around for a while me trying to figure out
what to do about Saturday, and them playing games etc. 
    About 4 o'clock we decide to play in a multiplayer game, me with my still
yet to be improved Crab deck, Tibbles playing Lion, Dan playing Toturi's, guy
from Oregon (sorry forgot name) playing peasants (not a joke), and Frank
playing a creepy combo deck, we play for a while, then Frank gets this
somewhat frightening look on his face, and starts saying "I have the
combo..." over and over again, but he miscalculated to gold and could not
pull it off that turn, so we all decide to kill him, or at least most of us
did, and we would have succeeded if it wasn't for that meddling Dan fella. 
    So it gets to Frank's turn again and we all pack up while he is trying to
work through each step of this incredibly complicated combo. 
    It is now about 5:30 AM and I still have no deck for tomorrow, not good. 
So we head off to bed, me saying "what eh hell am I going to play tomorrow?",
and Tibbles saying play corrupt Crab.

Saturday:
I wake up at 8:30 AM and realize I still have no deck, so I decide to throw
together a really old school Crab Oni deck, I mean really old school, Ogres
and everything.  So I throw together the deck, and we head off to the Game
Center, Frank off to Gunsling, Tibbles off to Judge, Dan with a well tuned
Unicorn deck, and me with a never before played Crab deck.  We get there and
I show them my deck, and the general consensus is that I need to take out the
Ogre Bushis, so I do, but now I need some other critters, but what?  So we
brain storm and we decide on Oni no Okura.  And boy was she amazing!  But,
more about her later.  On to the tournament.

Before round one we here about the prizes, and our Banzais led by Tibbles,
and start our matches.

Round 1 Jeff Hicks playing Honor Monk w/ Hiruma Sensei.
Well, this is not the best match up for me.  I played him in the last
tournament and lost because I forgot to use my Shojo Sensei, and before in
the S@M and lost because of no Sneaks.  So we start the game, I get a first
turn Outlaw with an Inheritance, but do not see any holdings for 3 turns, I
think that I get him down to one province before he honors me out.

0-1

Wow, what a great start.  I thought for sure that this was going to be a
microcosm of the rest of the weekend.  I am so glad that I was wrong.

Round 2 Scott Schultz playing Fox.
This is a very odd game, I spend all of my time trying to get some force, and
trying to figure out what the heck his deck does, I saw Toku, Taka, and the
normal Fox people.  We chatted while we were playing, Scott is a very cool
guy who is doing the Save the Ogres stuff, and this tourney he had button men
for all of those with Ogres in their decks that got top 16.  But, I digress. 
I soon got enough force that I was able to finally kill his provinces, after
getting through the Rises, Entrappings, 12th Black Scroll, etc.

1-1

Well, that is only one win that does not mean anything.  I chat with Andy
Hecket for a while and wander around looking at games, to kill time between
rounds, and to kill time before the box of Greed is opened.

Round 3 Josh (forgot last name sorry) playing Naga w/Rat Sensei.
I had seen Josh earlier when he was playing his deck against Bergstrom's
speed Fox deck, he is from Canada, but don't hold it against him.  We said
hello again, screamed our Banzais (Frank led this time, I think) and got on
to the match, I get out a first turn Uragirimono, and Corrupt Iron Mine, and
say go.  He gets a Warlord and free forests.  I flip and get an Iron Mine and
a Kitao, and say go.  He gets 2x Issut, and a Shahadet, not looking good for
us Crabs.  It gets to my turn and I get an Akuma, and Outlaw, and draw my
second Evil Portents.  So on his turn he gets out another Warlord, after
follower-ing up his personalities, and says go. On my turn I Portents Bomb,
and Ambush his Shahadet, and he scoops.

2-1

I head off to the box of Greed and pull a few times getting me 2x Path of
Wisdom, and 2x 12th Black Scroll and a First Oni, wow.  Definitely $15 well
spent.

Round 4
John playing Horde w/ Nio Sensei.
John is another cool guy from Oregon who stayed at Tibbles house on Friday. 
We shuffle, and he gets no Take, so I get out a first turn Iron Mine, and
flush the rest of my provinces.  He gets 3x Holdings, and an Akuma.  I Test
the Akuma, and put out a Corrupt.  He gets Wastelands and an Amoro Exp. I get
Kitao and Uragirimono out.  He puts Skeletal troops on the Amoro, and gets
Ugulu, after taking a province.  I take the Favor on my turn, and get out an
Okura Exp.  He attacks but forgot I had the favor, and gets sent home.  I
Test his Amoro, Ambush his Ugulu, and take a province.  He gets no
Personalities, so he scoops.

3-1

Huh, 3-1 not bad, but one more loss and I probably wont get into the top 16. 
I will never make it.

Round 5 Chris Allen playing Water Monk beat down w/Kuro Sensei.
Chris is one of the locals, and I knew he has a really amazing Monk deck,
that he normally runs with Yokuni Sensei, so I thought for sure that I was
toast.  But, he flipped over Kuro, and I knew that I at least had a slim
chance of not being beaten about the head and the neck.  He flips and gets
out some Monks, I Hantei his Chasing Osono Woo, making it so he had six
useless cards in his deck, as he was running Takes.  I get an inordinately
slow start and he takes a province on his second turn. Get out some people
and start to staunch the blood flow, but then he flips over Iris Festival, I
Avoid it but know that I am now on a clock.  I get very dishonorable very
quick and soon find myself at -16 honor, I then realize that I have no Avoid
in my hand an Iris Festival in his deck and a Desperate in mine, if one of
these two events come up I lose.  I flip and don't get my Desperate buy a
Kitao at full and go to -14. He does not get the Festival, and after me
taking a province a while back he is now at three.  I get to my turn no
Desperate, Test one of his Monks, it Lives, Test another it lives, but in
doing so I had bowed my Corrupt Iron Mine bringing me down to -15.  I
Portents then I attacked I sent an Outlaw, Uragirimono, and an Okura, all
Oathed, to one Province.  Hida Whackamole to one, and to the third I sent 2x
Uragirimono one Oathed with the Armor of Earth on it.  I did the leftmost
first, which I had sent an Uragirimono and an Oathed one with the Armor of
Earth to.  I Sneak Sup. Tac. to the province with Whackamole, leaving the
Immovable Mono alone to kill the province.  He discards the cards, and it is
the Festival.  I don't even care about the other battles even though I take
another province.  All I care about is the fact the Festival is gone. 
    I Flush my provinces, and draw my card.  I then look at the dice next to
me that says -15, and get a look on my face like the operator had just said
the call was coming from inside my house.  I had 2 province and about 12
cards left in my dynasty deck and I still had not had the Desperate come up. 
So I tell him as much and he gets a little grin on his face and goes on with
his turn.  I then flip my first province, Silence, my second province Oni no
Okura Exp.  I then start breathing again and take his last province.  I then
flip over the top cards of my dynasty deck and the next card is the
Desperate.  Whoa, was that ever close, never in my entire L5R career had I
ever been so happy that someone had taken two of my provinces.

4-1

Not bad, but still will probably not make the finals if I lose again.

Round 6 Tiernan playing Crane w/Toshimoko Sensei.
Tiernan had an old fashioned exploding Crane deck, and explode it did.  He
got to 40 honor incredibly fast, and was able to keep 2 provinces, one being
a Clan Heartland, so I lost. 

4-2

Damn, now I wont make the finals, so I go up to Tibbles and report, and he
says, "Chris, your ranked 6th." 
    So I made the top 16, cool.  I was also the only Crab that made the top
16, so I got the spiffy clan shirt, as the highest placing Crab in the
Tourney. 
    We head back to Tibbles's house for the night, later on Bergstrom and
Josh from the earlier round, show up, and we all chat for a while, and head
off to bed early-ish around 1:30 and 5 of us ended up crashing in Tibbles's
room, Bergstrom, Josh, Ian, Tibbles and I.  Ian, Bergstrom, and I talked
about anime, baseball, and movies till about 2:30, and during the course of
this time I had found out that I was going to be playing Bergstrom in the
first round, and that I was pretty much headed straight to the losers
bracket, as he is running 3x MoP, and 3x Sorrows Path, which are not
conducive to the health of Whackamole.

Sunday:
We wake up and get to the Game Center and I find out that one of the players
cannot make it, so the redo the pairings, and I no longer play Bergstrom,
yay.  I now play Kaleb (hope the spelling is correct) who is playing the
other deck in the finals that is set up to destroy me.

Finals round 1 Kaleb Using Bloodspeaker Phoenix w/Kaede Sensei.
Kaleb's deck is gross, plain and simple. He makes you Shadowlands then kills
you with duels and Mokuna's guide, Darkness Beyond Darkness, Nameless One, or
Rest my Brother, or he takes you with the Hidden Heart.  Needlessly to say
things are not looking up for me.  So we start, he flips his cards and in the
last province sits the Hidden Heart.  So he buys gold and says go, I also buy
gold and say go, He gets the Heart, and says go, I get more gold, It goes
back and forth like this until at one point he had a Kuni Utagu with Mokuna's
Guide, Clan Sword and Facing your Devils as an ability.  I finally draw a
Test and kill it, but he is slowly getting bigger then me so I attack.  I
send my entire army to his one province and he defends with all of his rather
large guys.  His first action is to favor one of my guys, I Test, then Wedge
an Uragirimono, he Portents, I Wedge another Uragirimono, he Portents, I send
home his Outlaw that used to be mine, and win by 4 force.  He then scoops.

1-0

Wow, I thought for sure that I was a goner, but I guess the STDs are destined
to go one more round in the winners bracket.

Round 2
Jason playing Fox w/Hantei Sensei.
Yup, I get to play another friend in the tourney, he gets a bad start and my
critters beat him about the head and neck.  Though I should state that the
only reason that I won is that early game he let me take back an attack after
I realized that the Fox could decide battle order.  Thanks Jason, I owe you
one.

2-0

Round 3 John Playing Horde w/Nio.
Great John again, oh well hopefully things will go as well as they did last
time.  I get no buyable gold for three turns and get slaughtered.  But, again
I have to give thanks to John who had a chance to probably have me DQ'd after
we both forgot about Nio's ability and I bought a ST off the box.  Thanks
John you are a gentlemen and a scholar.

2-1

Oh well, I am in the losers bracket, right where I thought I would be.  As I
finished early I had to cool my heels for 2 hours for the other people to
finish their games, so I could play.

Round 4 Jeff Hicks.
Damn it, not him again.  Oh well I can do it, I can beat him.  I get an Iron
Mine and Corr. Iron Mine First Turn, he gets lots of gold and Tetsuya, buys
the gold and Flushes the rest.  I get an Iron, a Jade, and Uragiri, and
Whackamole Exp.  Get money and Ura.  He gets Shioda and more gold. I get an
Outlaw, Whackamole, and Desperate.  He gets Duplicate and Dups Whack, and he
gets some other Monks.  O flip Whack, Kitao, and Silence, buy them and say
go.  He gets Chrys Festival, and Mystic Ground.  I get Ogre, Whack, and Akuma
I think.  Wont bore you with the rest except to say that I got my Onis up to
12 force attacked he edicts and I Portent, which is right above his 12
Province strength.  I then take the rest of his provinces with massive Onis.

3-1

Bwahahah, I beat Hicks, I have expunged my daemons, now I just have to play:

Round 5 Tiernan playing Crane w/Toshimoko Sensei.
Damn it, not him.  I lost to him last night and I wanted revenge but not so
soon.  He goes first and gets 2x Caravan, and 2x Market Place, wow what a
start.  I get Okura, Inheritance, Mine, and First Scroll.  Buy Okura, and say
go.  He gets a, Pekkel, and more gold.  I get a Desperate, Oath and attack,
he defends with Pekkle, and I Sneak Deadly.  He looks at his hand says "I can
make a comeback'" flips his province and gets a Shrine and Emperors Peace I
think.  I get an Ogre, and he flips a Shrine.  Wow Shrine lock third Turn, I
hear that is pretty good.

4-1

Now on to round 6 which is:
John Playing Horde w/Nio.
Wow I seem to be noticing a theme in this somewhere.  This time I make no
stupid mistakes and actually beat him.

5-1

Finals:
My Crab Onis Vs Chris Bergstrom's honor Dragon w/Hantei Sensei.
I have now played 3 games of L5R in 30 min, and boy am I tired.  They ask me
if I want a break, and I decline, as I already know the outcome of this
match.  He gets some gold out first turn makes the Monkey clan.  I get an
Inheritance which gets Avoided, and Okura, First Scroll is Opened, and a
Farm.  I get the Farm and Flush the rest, he gets a Dragon Pekkle, Age of
Man, and some other personalities.  I get Akuma, and a Mine.  He gets more
gold, I Oath, and Akuma learns how to read a Journal, I ask for actions,
Chris Edicts.  I flush as I am out of gold, and say go.  He gets more gold
and critters, and is skyrocketing up in honor.  I ask for opens, he Edicts
... again.  I buy a Kitao, and Whackamole Exp.  Chris gets some more
personalities, including Ki-Rin, WTF? 
    How bad is my luck?  2 Edicts, and a Ki-Rin so early in the game, oh well
I guess that is L5R for you.  On my turn I dejectedly buy a few more guys. 
On his Age of Man expire, and he gets to about 30 honor.  On my Turn I flip
Kolat Duplicate, and can you guess who was a Kolat the entire time?  Yup, you
guessed it the Ki-Rin.  I always thought that hey would be above that sort of
thing, but I guess those wacky Kolats are everywhere.  I attack and take a
province.  He gets to 39 I attack and take another province, he now has 2
provinces, and gets to 40 on his turn.  If I get a Desperate, he is dead,
flip, and I guess I was just not that desperate.  So I lose.

    Oh well, second is not that bad, especially considering who I lost to.  I
just want to say how cool this weekend was.  The judging was great (go
Tibbles) and the side events were very enjoyable (go Andy, Frank, and Mindy),
and all of the people save one unsavory Crane who used expletives, and tried
to bribe people, were incredibly cool (go everyone else). 

Thanks again,
            Chris Porowski

"It's all about the gratuitous Crab Oni violence."