(3/6/00)
she waves her hand over my eyes
  expecting 
the miracle of sight

(untitled 99)
your words mean little
   as do mine.
your intentions are as worthless as my heart.
      feelings of loving
frozen in death

  drifting, so far away
...and i still mourn you.

...and like the dead, you will not return.
my only hope----

 seeing you, for just a moment, in another world,
gone in an instant; i live for that second... 

  my angel...

         and i still mourn you.

(DRUGS)

she is
  my drug.
i need her.
...but she is the drug

that is going to kill me.

(mimicry)

as this night comes 
  as i fall to the floor
as i kneel, a broken man
as i fall...

so this waiting shall cease
  so shall i find my rest
one day, far from this place
one day, i'm leaving the human race

as my eyes look up
  my heart can't take the strain
as i look to the ground
  at last i feel no more pain
as i fall.....
     there is no one to catch me.

i hit the ground.


and i break.

frozen and brittle...
all i needed was the warmth of the sun,
  but now it's too late...

i'm broken.


i'm cold.

(in order of a night, said poorly)


holding the memory
   of her scent
loving the taste 
      of her touch

missing her before she's gone

i was given a gift
so precious, undisturbed, 
i come so close,
     so often,
to turning my back

but i come back,
  so often
to gaze again into the eyes of a gift,
so precious, given me.

#2

teardrops, they left me, they ran in fear 
of this moment, not perfect, not serene
but for once,
so real again.

i don't care about my paranoia tonight.
i don't care about my fear tonight
my lust, my envy, my hate.
fear it seems left me, if but for a moment.

dear God- i thank you so, for that moment.
please God, let it come again

#3

unhappy?  'unsad?'
words know meaning.  no meaning.
joy? it is not.
but before these tears roll, a smile 
shines upon my face, i feel it again...
and before these tears begin to roll, 
i rejoice in the return.
thank God, for this moment--i can feel it
again.