| I was born at an early age and became a childhood
prodigy soon after - let's face it, if you can spell ZBIGNIEW MILEWCZYK
at the age of 73, it means your keyboard is beyond redemption. Either that,
or you have awesome skills in Scrabble!! Or maybe dyslexia nervosa of the
first degree.
Born on 3rd August 1949 in England to Polish
parents, I'm very much a foreigner in search of a home. Happily, that quest
has now ended - the #coro_street channel on IRC is it, as my phone bills
will testify.
I live in Glorious (when it ain't raining!!
hahahaha) Glossop in the High Peak of Derbyshire, 15 miles east of the
centre of the Universe aka Manchester, home of Coronation Street.
I am married to a wife (!!?*&!) (Trude),
who is marginally more insane than me, let's face it, you gotta be mad
to be married to a mad Polak like me. She's a professional lion tamer in
a zoo, sorry, primary school teacher (but hey, what's the difference?).
My son is a horizontal lounge lizard (a student), hopefully going to University
in September 99 (we can no long afford to feed him, so let him fend for
himself, is what I say).
What do I do for a living? Provide tech support
on #coro, that's what!! hahahahahaha! Actually I am an Independent Financial
Adviser, but I've had a bellyful of that and I'm looking to move back into
computing, possibly training, tech support, writing.... gissa job, I can
do that!!! LOL!!
I started watching Corrie in April 1977, when
I first had one leg manacled to the floor sorry, got married. Going round
in circles has since become a speciality of the house, as a result. I say,
going round in circles...
1998 was a year of 12 months for me, though
not necessarily in that order. After some time lurking on the ratucs newsgroup,
in March 98, I started doing Friday Updates on a Monday (but hey, no-one's
perfect!) and I have clogged up internet bandwidth ever since. War and
Peace is a veritable precis once you have read my updates. I joined the
IRC channel in April - Jacqueline was my first,
as she proudly tells everyone - obviously a woman of no taste and even
less shame!!! I love her dearly, as I do my fellow IRC chums on the channel
- my phone bill is living proof. I love the Friday night quiz (even though
it's on a Saturday morning) and pray for the day I score more than 2 points.
CHFI Saturday night oldies has me boogieing and strutting my stuff with
my headphones on my bonce.
Turning to life outside Corrie, well... erm,
hmmm, mmmm.. IS there life outside Corrie? I love 50s/60s/70s music, cooking,
walking, comedy, brewing beer, caravanning, travelling, learning languages,
looking after sick animals, promoting world peace, devising ways of overcoming
famines and I am currently working on a special project of transmuting
gold into green. My heroes are Spike Milligan, Peter Sellars and
John Cleese and the silly walk comes totally naturally to me.
Why am I Tinky? Well, my lawyer will defend
my reputation most vigorously (but let's just say that my aardvark becomes
positively rampant at the sight of a nice pair of possums) - Chris (The_Rattler)
Lines and my website will give the full embarrassing answer. Let's just
say that a picture of the Rev. Jerry Falwell is used as a dartboard at
home, and leave it at that.
Turning back to Corrie, who are my favourite
characters? Quite a few over the years.
From my early days Len Fairclough -
he was a great character, good fun, a strong man, dependable, but with
a stubborn streak in him.
Elsie Tanner, a powerhouse of a woman,
sexy, volatile, worldly-wise yet very human - she constantly repeated her
mistakes in love.
Hilda Ogden, downtrodden, the glue
who kept the Oggies together, wonderful wit and phrases, the thought of
her "muriel" always makes me chuckle, although I would have hated living
next door to such a busy body, even though she had a heart of gold.
Over the years Rita Sullivan, again
a strong sexy woman, with a great sense of humour, especially the banter
between her and Mavis. A very fair stable person.
Alec Gilroy, shifty, conniving, yet
with a soft, loveable streak underneath.
Reg and Maureen, my favourite duo,
ridiculous at times but funny beyond belief. The magic between them
was something else. (My biggest regret is that Maureen never had my babies).
Recent years
Fred Elliott, wonderful comic character,
great facial expressions, superb one-liner phrases. I'm his number one
fan, I say, his number one fan!!!!
Roy and Hayley - unpretentious honest
oddballs, ordinary people, there's a bit of them in all of us, if
we are honest enough to admit it.
What's been my favourite storyline over the
years, and why?
Oh quite a few again:-
In terms of shorter episodes/scenes
The Water bed episode is THE comedy classic.
I shed buckets of tears when Hilda came
across Stan's tie after
his funeral - that was so moving, so realistic.
When Hilda won the weekend away at
the fancy hotel, it was a big cheer - something coming right at last for
the poor downtrodden woman.
Longer storylines include the "Ken, Deirdre
and Mike" triangle, "Rita and Alan Bradley" and "Deirdre
and Jon Lindsay" sagas - powerful, gripping dramas, which got the nation
talking. Excellent acting.
Probably the best feelgood storyline of all
time has been Roy and Hayley's love affair - a story of how love
conquers all. That storyline has been responsible, not just for changing
my attititudes to Transsexuality and issues surrounding gender and sex,
but has transformed the way the nation views these issues - when normally
narrow-minded bigotted people are angered and outraged at how this couple
have been treated, then that has to be a major success story. I cried buckets
of tears of joy when I saw the airport scene at Amsterdam, after Hayley
caught up with Roy- seeing the pure joy on Roy's face when Hayley wrote
on the glass - it really has to be one of the all-time great moments of
television, in the same league as the famous film clip from "Brief Encounter"
What makes Coronation Street my number 1 soap?
The honest portrayal of ordinary folk experiencing
the ordinary every-day problems and joys of life. The humour of the scripts,
the strength of the characters. The love and ethos which clearly surrounds
the programme - it is an institution and something very special. It's provided
me with consistent entertainment for over two decades and, through the
internet, has enabled me to make friends with fellow fans - some of the
most wonderful people - all over the world.
How has Corrie affected my life?
I spend my spare time frightening old ladies
by creeping behind them and bellowing "Hello little grannie!" The rest
of the time, I record Fred Elliott wave files, work on my website,
do help FAQs and other related things. Oh and I spend my time talking to
women, who are thousands of miles away, to whom I am not married. I have
also perfected the technique of sneaking into bed in the middle of the
night after a lengthy IRC session and pretending I have just got out of
bed for a call of nature.
This and more on my web-site at http://www.prosper.demon.co.uk
E-mail: alan@prosper.demon.co.uk |
