Libby's Corrie Limericks (part
2)
by Libby Seekings
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Arthur, a statuesque Gnome,
Had the Wilton's back yard as his home.
But when post cards were sent,
From south of the Trent,
Said Mavis, "He really does roam." |
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Ann Malone, as a boss, isn't funny,
She tries to pretend she's a honey.
But Curly's not fooled,
And her ardour has cooled,
We hope that someone boils her bunny. |
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The big boss of Underworld, Mike,
Thinks he's a helluva tyke.
But, 'e opens 'is mahf,
Why, 'e's from dahn Sahf!
So we'll tell him to get on his bike! |
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An unlucky punter named Jack,
Lost a large bet at the track.
When Vera found out,
She chucked his kecks out,
Now he's nothing to wear but his mac. |
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There was a landlady called Walker,
Who prided herself quite a talker.
In the Bar, while debating,
If Anne was too grating,
You could look at Bet Lynch - a real corker! |
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A fine figured woman, Ms Tanner,
You could tell, by her profile - and manner.
When she filled the screen,
With her cleavage, - I mean
No wonder they wanted to ban 'er! |
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There was an old lady named Minnie,
Who was usually dressed in her pinny.
Talking to Bobbie
Her cat, was her hobby,
She fed him on smoked haddock finnie. |
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There was an old lady named Martha,
Who drank her Milk Stout by the halfa.
One night, in the snug,
She fell dead on the rug,
Which subdued the atmosphere ratha. |
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At Jim's Cafe, Roy lost his knob,
He said that it fell off his hob,
He found it, so strange,
At the back of the range,
And Hayley said, "That's a good job!" |
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There was an old woman called Ena,
You could not forget, once you'd seena,
With her curlers and hairnet,
It sure is a fair bet,
You'd rather have seena than beena! |
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